Row, Row, Row Your Boat

...gently through your apartment....

sigh.

If it can go wrong, it will. We came home from church today to a new in-ground pool in our house. Fun times. I had to call and cancel my shift at the Giant Warmblood barn. I am glad she is so nice and understanding. I've spent the past 12 hours cleaning up the new pool and water features in our basement apartment. Not so much fun, not so much fun at all!

So, for the rest of my weekend.

For my birthday I had a pretty amazing opportunity given to me. I was able to have the animal communicator come back out on Saturday to "talk" to Denali. I'm not going to lie, she really is amazing. I know that may make me sound crazy, but this is the same woman I had out to talk to Denali in August 2008. I asked her if she could tell me anything about Denali's neurological signs....

and this my friends is where it gets crazy (or crazier, depending on how you feel)....

She instantly started to write on her piece of paper and Denali sort of stared at her with this stare. It was pretty intense. The animal communicator asked me if we could bring her out of the field so I ran and got her halter. She then went on to explain that Denali is feeling a pressure right behind her right ear next to her atlas. She got the sense that the pressure was scar tissue, but that she can't be 100% sure. Sure enough, if you feel behind Denali's ears it does feel a lot different than the other horses. There is no indent, and Denali HATES, HATES, HATES, when you touch it. She was really sensitive on Saturday to it and it was hard to go near her head at all.

A while ago, Denali had a pretty nasty cut behind her ear. I didn't think anything of it because by the time I saw it, there was a scab, so I didn't do anything more about it other than putting some medicine on it.

If this is true, that would explain the intermittent neurological signs. It would explain why she looks so bad one day and almost normal the next. AND, in September I started to notice her stretching her jaw ALL the time. I knew it wasn't normal, but everyone said that she was "fine." Denali's vet came out to do a clinic and I briefly talked to her about it (after warning her again that I was nuts) and she said it was worth looking into.

The communicator also called me out on my "guilt" and she said I need to work through that. If you know me personally you know I always feel bad about everything all the time. That has more to do with my upbringing than anything. She also asked if one of her students could use me for a Guinea pig to work on my horse fear (which was almost gone, but not going to lie, since being used as a soccer ball, a bit nervous.) I really hope that works.

Denali said she loved being out of her stall, and that she'd really like to feel her feet again. I didn't have may questions, but got some sort of answer that I wanted. We'll see what the EPM test says when it comes back. I asked if she can tell if the horse has EPM, and she said she can't. She can tell what the horse feels, aka, not her feet, and then trying to figure out what is causing it is another story.

I was debating whether or not to even mention the communicator here because I am afraid that some people will think I've gone off the deep end, but you know what? Thanks to the new pool in my house I can!

Vote and Nawlers

This will be short and sweet. I have tendinitis or something in my right arm so typing hurts a bit late at night. Went to see Denali, she didn't seem to feel well, so I freaked and called the vet. Long story short, she's doing better. Denali. Really??  Also, found my camera!!

And for my newest purpose! Please vote for me! It's easy. If you could convince your friends to vote that would be great too!! Feel free to embarrass me on your blogs, your facebook, etc.

More on Denali tomorrow when I can use both hands! (She's more important than any contest!)

1. If you are already a fan of Smartpak, skip to step 2. If not "like" Smartpak on Facebook by clicking here first, and then click on the second link.

2. If you're a "Fan" of Smatpak just click here to vote. (You need to "like" the photo to vote.)

So, like away!! Have your friends like, your horses, your enemies (I don't really care.) Vote, Vote, Vote

30th

There is nothing worse than teaching 5, 6, and 7 year olds on your birthday. They want cupcakes...they might revolt and there could be some sort of hostile take over. If you read about a hostage situation on CNN that would be me. Tied up and gaged because I don't have cupcakes. Here's hoping that I am able to survive to the end of the day....

There was so much stuff I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 30. I think the only thing I did successfully was survive to 30. But hey! I still blog, I usually quite stuff after starting it. This is the most committed I've been to any thing. Tomorrow I will post the links to VOTE for the Smartpak contest on Facebook. Then you can force all your friends to vote. If they don't want to vote, I have 10 tiny kids, and I will tell them that they have cupcakes. It could get scary. How scary? Clown Scary.

Surprise!

My wonderful, amazing husband shocked the hell out of me last night. He had planned a surprise party for me, and I didn't have a CLUE! I usually pride myself for my ability to figure out what is going on, and usually am pretty good at figuring out what is going on.

Not this time.



Vote for me!



We met a friend of mine for dinner, and I thought something might be up, but it was so low key and normal that I figured, "nah," plus my hubby as been so busy taking care of my broken self and our broken horse that I didn't think that he would have time to buy me a card, much less plan something.

Enough about me, I'm still technically 29 until Tuesday.

The vet sent me a text message last night that Denali did well with the two horses in turn out, but during the initial excitement she took a few neurological steps. Sigh. I know it's hoping for a lot, but I would really love to have a horse that is able to be ridden. That's down the road and I'll pray for that once she's healthy. For now I am happy she's alive still.

Today I got a taste of how parents must feel when they see their kid being ignored or teased. I went out and bought grain and beet pulp and then drove out to see Ms. Slew. She was turned out in the arena with two other horses. They were pacing the wall of the arena looking out towards the pasture where the other half of their herd was. They didn't give Denali the time of day. She didn't even look at them either. Denali stood at the gate of the arena the entire time I was there. For a while the little horse with the broken neck was laying down sleeping (talk about freaking me out, I've NEVER seen a horse sleep that deep EVER.) Denali was standing there near the pen watching her sleep. I think that little horse is her buddy, but it's hard to tell.

I was feeding Denali a carrot when one of the other TB's (Seriously, all 3 of them match) came over. For the first time EVER, Denali left food and me when a horse came up. She wasn't happy about it, that's for sure.

I drove our truck over and sat and watched for about half an hour to see if she'd interact with them at all. Nope, nothing. She stood there watching the little grey mare (with the broken neck.) I felt bad leaving her today. She didn't seem very happy. I think it will be better when she is turned out into a pasture. Her front left looked a little swollen, but I'm not worried since the vet will check it tonight and wrap it if she thinks it needs wrapped.

Wednesday starts the voting for Smartpak! Don't forget

Hilarious

So if you're on Facebook and "like" Smartpak then you may or may not know that they are having a contest, "What were you thinking when you wore THAT to the barn?" The winner gets something... I don't quite remember what it is, but yesterday I figured what the hell, I'd include this photo of my 5 year old self (Note: Things haven't gotten much better, but now I wear a helmet and boots.)

I woke up today and found out I'm a finalist! I'm pretty excited, but this means I will probably drive you crazy next week when they have the actual voting. It amazes me that my parents would let me on a horse when I was little without a helmet. About .3 seconds after my parents gave me the reins to this little guy, he took off at a dead gallop into the woods. I don't remember it happening, because I was 5, but I do remember turning him around and coming back out of the woods with him. I started riding lessons not too soon after (always with a helmet.)

Also, Denali must have gotten a cell phone!! :) She sent me a text message last night and a picture of herself. The caretaker may have hurt my feelings, but I love that she's sending me pictures of my babypie.

Welcome December

December is one of my favorite months. My birthday, my brother's birthday, Christmas, Belsnickle (at least the memories make me smile), and a 2 week break from work (and hopefully this time I will not be broken so I can enjoy it.)

One thing I haven't mentioned on here is that I have a few horses that I'm going to be riding. When I thought I was going to be losing Denali, I couldn't sleep. I would sit up at night, most of the night, and just think. My back hurt to bad to lay down, and my mind couldn't quite running. My husband and I have invested everything (emotionally and financially) in Denali, so there will be no replacing her. Not anytime soon. However, I wasn't sure I could survive not having a horse to love on.

One late night I ended up on Craigslist (where I usually peruse the poor horses who have BYB as their owners). I came across an ad for a horse for lease. The horse sounded perfect for me, and I figured I'd e-mail. What could it hurt.  The world is a small place. It turns out the ad I replied to was for the horse I ride at the Giant Warmblood Barn. The woman I work for is amazing. I truly want to be like her when I "grow up" (even though she's only a year older than I am.)

She was wonderful. We talked about leasing, and riding this particular horse. Then she mentioned Pete.   Pete is a Thoroughbred. He's HUGE. He might be the biggest TB that I've ever met. I LOVE HIM. One of the first times I worked at the barn I walked out into the pasture to collect expensive ponies when her 5 year old 18 hand (I kid you not) Dutch Warmblood came CHARGING at me. Pete came charging too, ran in front of me just as this other horse was approaching, looked at him and pinned his ears and chased him away. Pete saved me and it was love. Pete's owner is busy and doesn't get out. Pete needs ridden and is recovering from some lameness issues and needs some light work done. Pete's owner asked me to ride him, and I'm excited.

After Ms. Denali's Thanksgiving Miracle, I stopped and talked to the owner of the Giant Warmbloods. I explained that I couldn't afford to lease her sweet ponykins. Money doesn't seem to be the problem, he just needs ridden too, and right now she doesn't have a working student.

So now, I have 2 horses to ride, 1 horse to do ground work with and Denali to figure out what in the hell is going on. I wish I had better skills, and more confidence in myself as a rider. I explained to someone the other day (Pete's owner actually) that not too long ago I use to consider myself and intermediate rider. I would ride almost anything and had very little fear (but I was never stupid.) Buying an 4 year old OTTB will really make you re-evaluate your riding skills. I'm now a VERY cautious rider, and still don't know how to deal with a spooking horse. I freak. I have 0 confidence (hence the blog title.) The two horses I'm going to start riding are lesson horses, bomb proof, and I'm sure it will be good for me. Now it's just a matter of balancing work, Denali, ground work with the other mare, and then finding time to ride the other two horses. I'm not going to start riding until January, so at least I'll have a slow start.

Welcome December (be nice!)

Good Bye November

November was rough to me this year.

It started out simple enough, like every other month. I would work and then drive out to the barn to visit Nawlers. A few days into November I got bashed in the head by one of my students and got to spend a day at the hospital for a concussion. Fun.

My job is oh so fun, but that's a whole other blog....

Then the Holistc Vet came out the first weekend, and that started the whole downhill slide. The following weekend I recieved 8-9 kicks by Denali, and wound up in the ER for a whole day. That week was horrible, I honestly have never experienced pain like that. I am finally starting to feel a little bit better. The following weekend we determined that that Denali wasn't getting better and that we were going to put her down. The final weekend it snowed, and Denali was saved. Somewhere between getting kicked by Denali and now I lost my camera. :( It wasn't cheap, and I can't replace it. Boo, show up camera!! Please? I can't keep taking pictures of Denali on my phone.

So, November I don't hate you, you taught me a lot but if you could put in a good word for me with December that would be great!
Thanks.

Exhaustion

I'm sick. I called to complain to my mom and she said she was surprised I lasted this long due to stress. I don't do well with stress. I get sick to my stomach, I get headaches, I get quiet...this time I got a cold. Boo. I know I shouldn't bitch about a stupid cold, but I did.

My husband and I woke up and went to church this morning. The church didn't even burn down when I walked in the door, so I saw that as a good sign. I figured I needed to go pay a visit to the big guy to thank him personally. Be it God, or some other divine intervention, there is no reason that Denali should still be here, but she is. She was so week last Sunday it was depressing. Her legs wobbled, her ribs showed (more than normal) and less than a week later she was so much better.

I went to lunch with some friends who wanted to meet my mare. One of them is from Portland and sent me a really nice message about how sorry she was that Denali was put down. Yep, another interesting conversation. We went out to the vet's barn, and Denali was HILARIOUS. She came trotting up to the wall of the arena and then proceeded to nicker, nicker, nicker. She followed me all over. There is a port-o-potty opposite where my friend and I were standing, I walked over and Denali followed me the whole way. Once inside she couldn't figure out where I went, and started running around. No falling. None. She does snap, crackle, and pop much worse than I remember. I wonder if it has to do with the cold, and the fact that she hasn't been out of the stall/small paddock for 8 months. My friend even noticed. That made me nervous.

There is a little cute QH there who has a broken neck :( Denali could see her from the arena and she kept perking her ears at her and nickering this low, low, nicker as if to say, "Hey, you okay?" I feel so bad for this little mare, she looks miserable.

I tucked a thank you note into Denali's medical chart for the Vet. I am still just in awe of how generous she is of her time. We just started seeing her November 6th, and she is already doing so much for us.

On my way home from working at the Giant Warmblood Barn I stopped at Denali's barn (old barn??) to explain the great opportunity that we were given. I feel bad. I picked up the rest of her stuff because I don't expect our trainer to hold a stall for her. I don't know how long we'll be at the vet's barn, and I want to be fair to her. Horses + Change terrifies me. I don't know what I'm going to do once we leave the vet's barn (optimistic here!!) Denali isn't an easy horse to board. She high maintenance, I'm high maintenance. It's bad combination. I'm still going to cross my fingers that she is still able to be ridden. If she's not, boarding will be easier, but I'd rather have a horse I can ride. At least I have a horse, hu?

I know I'm jumping the gun here, and probably thinking too far down the road. At this point I'm going to STILL try still take it day by day, but that is just exhausting me.

Also, keep your eyes peeled for a guest blogger this week: Ophie's Mom. You may remember her from the super awesome 101 Things to Do With Your Stall Bound Horse.

Also!I thought that you'd like this. I suggested Denali's name when I didn't think I'd have her anymore. They picked it! Another Denali, and I hope this one finds an owner to love her as much as I love my Denali.

*Ah Choo*

I made an attempt to go to work yesterday.

I say attempt because I was useless. I called the classroom and reminded my assistants (who rock) that I was coming down, and that the kids CAN NOT TOUCH ME.

That was the extent of my day. I sat in a chair and talked to my kiddos, who I really did miss. One little boy just kept looking at me. Finally he ran up, apologized, and then hugged me. It really was cute, and didn't hurt to bad.

THEN my allergies struck. I honestly don't know what hurt more, Denali kicking me, or my ribs after sneezing. Ugh.

No more work for me. I am taking my Dr.'s advice and staying home, in bed.

No news on Denali. The x-rays haven't been read yet by the radiologist. The vet called me today and told me she'd give me an update tonight.... It looks like that might not happen until tomorrow.

x-ray

Vet took the x-rays. Left me a message and said "nothing glaring!" That makes me feel better!!

Going to people vet today to figure out why I still feel like I'm dying.

Me vs. 5 year old.... Me - 0, 5 year old - 1

Well. I'm back to officially being a horrible horse mom.

Monday I dreamed that I couldn't breath and woke up on Tuesday wheezing so hard I thought I was going to die (thanks Asthma...no, I haven't missed you for the past 10 years, but thanks for asking!)

Yesterday I got bashed in the head, either by a kids fist or he pulled the door closed on my head. I don't remember, but I do remember it really !@#$ing hurt. I think it was his fist.

Keep in mind he is 5...

I stayed at work and felt okay, just my head hurt pretty bad.

Today I woke up so nauseated and ill. I went to work, walked into my classroom and laid down. I guess I looked whiter than normal so my principal made me go to the hospital. (Because I LOVE the hospital, no, not really.) Nothing is broken in my head, but I have a concussion and bruising around my temple. (I knew this, but didn't have a choice in going.)

The nurse asked me if I was in an abusive relationship, stopped and snickered, and then said "at home." HA, yes between work and the barn I'm always being abused.

Saturday the Holistic Vet comes out... Here's hoping that Denali doesn't give her a head injury.