Dear Readers

Dear Readers,

You are my rainbow in this storm, my warm blanket on a cold night, you are what keeps me going when all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and die right alongside Denali. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but your kind, kind words of support. Your dedications to her on your blogs, the fact that I can feel your love and support from wherever you are is what is helping to keep me going.

I don't know what else to say, simply put: thank you. You are my hero's. You are my friends. Thank you for loving my horse right along with me. Thank you for your words of encouragement when things got tough, when I got scared. You helped me to get back in the saddle. Thank you for your words of encouragement when I went to my first horse show. And when I had to make the hardest decision I've ever had to make, thank you for showing me your kindness, love and support. You helped me to become the rider I am today, and now in the darkest days of my life, you are what helps me going.

For that I am eternally grateful. I wish there was something I could do to show you how much I appreciate all you've done for me, for what you've done for us.

Much Love,
Denali's Mom

Final Plans

We made the final plans today. We are going to set Ms. Denali free this Friday. It's so weird to have a day, and to know after that day I won't have a horse. It is snowing like crazy in Seattle, so I didn't get out to the barn. The vet called and said Denali was happily eating all bundled up warm. I'm so glad. I am actually grateful for the extra days, it was suppose to be tomorrow. The snow is actually very peaceful. It happens so rarely in Seattle, and so it makes it special.

I have a really stupid question. Is it wrong for me to take all of her tail? Do I do it before or after? Suggestions from those of you who have gone through this.

I was at work today when I got a whiff of Denali. I had on my scarf that I wore yesterday, and it brought me a huge smile, and then lots of tears. I actually am pretty proud that I only cried a few times today.

I also wanted to say thank you, all of your kind words and suggestions. They really do help a lot. I just keep telling myself that we are doing this while it's hard on us, and not on her. I'm hoping that Friday we can let her run around for the first time in 8 months. I can't belive it's been 8 months since this downward journey started. I'm afraid she'll fall, but I just want her to be able to be a horse one more time. I don't know what to do.

300th Post

Just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who's been following my blog. I saw a post that I did in September where I mentioned getting my 12th follower, well, I have a few more now than I did before. Thanks for joining our ride! How did you find me? Why did you start to follow (aside from my basic threats and beggings?) I'm just curious.

I'm excited for the day that I can log in and say, "I rode Denali." I thought I'd be there by now, but I guess God has different plans. Part of me wonders if it was meant to happen this way. I kept getting frustrated that I couldn't ride her and then guilty because I wasn't. Now I have not guilt. I can't ride her. I can't let her out of the stall. She's not being ridden, but I continue to ride and work out. By the time she's better I should be back to being a fit rider. I guess I'll take that as a sign that as much as she frustrates me and drives me nuts sometimes, I should keep her. Everytime I talk about selling her something happens.

I'm going to post some books on my other blog www.rehabdenali.blogspot.com tonight or tomorrow. Some one e-mailed me (and you can too @ rehabdenali@yahoo.com ) and asked me how they would pay for something. There is a little box on the side of the "other" blog that says "Chipin" if you buy something (and we talked) that will direct you to paypal. Also, if anyone knows Bill Gates pass him the address.