Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Dear Readers

Dear Readers,

You are my rainbow in this storm, my warm blanket on a cold night, you are what keeps me going when all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and die right alongside Denali. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but your kind, kind words of support. Your dedications to her on your blogs, the fact that I can feel your love and support from wherever you are is what is helping to keep me going.

I don't know what else to say, simply put: thank you. You are my hero's. You are my friends. Thank you for loving my horse right along with me. Thank you for your words of encouragement when things got tough, when I got scared. You helped me to get back in the saddle. Thank you for your words of encouragement when I went to my first horse show. And when I had to make the hardest decision I've ever had to make, thank you for showing me your kindness, love and support. You helped me to become the rider I am today, and now in the darkest days of my life, you are what helps me going.

For that I am eternally grateful. I wish there was something I could do to show you how much I appreciate all you've done for me, for what you've done for us.

Much Love,
Denali's Mom


Anonymous said...

Your care and love for your horse is all that is needed - you are being strong for her, which is what people who love their horses need to do when the time comes. Being a horsewoman isn't just about riding.

OnTheBit said...

I am so sorry for you loss. I wish I had words of comfort to share, but all I can say is that God needed a horse like Denali up in heaven so he had to call her back to him. It is not fair that she had to leave this world so early, but at least she had a loving owner like you around.

OnTheBit said...

I am so sorry for you loss. I wish I had words of comfort to share, but all I can say is that God needed a horse like Denali up in heaven so he had to call her back to him. It is not fair that she had to leave this world so early, but at least she had a loving owner like you around.

Leah Fry said...

It will be okay -- I promise.

Mrs Mom said...

No thanks needed in this corner. Feel like I should be thanking you for sharing your beautiful Denali with us so generously.

Laura M. said...

{{HUGS}} We love you D's mom and we love Denali. Thank you for sharing your journey with all the ups and downs with us.

WishIHadAHorsey said...

Thank you for sharing Denali with us. Your love, humor and positive outlook on things are your strengths and I know you will be able to get through this. I wish I could say more but we are behind you in all of this.

Sydney_bitless said...

It's always comforting to know theres a whole community, worldwide that has felt the same and knows what your going through. But for so many people to get together and help out and offer their love and faith, it restores my hope for humanity.

Gryph said...


Anything you need, please let us know. Gryph and I are thinking of you both. Email me if you want my phone #, and we can even send money if need be. *hug*

We both hope you keep updating this blog, even afterwards. It may prove to be cathartic for you, to have a place to vent.

Good luck, and please hug Denali extra hard for us. The photo you sent has been framed and put on my wall above my computer. Maybe someday we can still come visit, to see you, and to pay our respects to Denali.

*hugs a third time*

-Cygnata and Gryph

Anonymous said...

You don't have to do or say anything. Giving us a peek into Denali's life was, and still is, such a gift.
You are an incredibly brave person for making these decisions for her. You may not feel that way, but I feel that if Denali had been with someone else, they would have given up. You never did. She fought right along side you step by step.
Focus on the little things and laugh when you can. I know its so hard! If you have to go into hiding to focus on yourself, do it. If you need to talk just message me on wordpress.

goodtimetoreview said...

I've wanted to comment a million times to you that i'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. But my words just weren't coming out right. Although I've never met you or D I feel like I know you and her. I often say "I was reading my friends blog last night..." .
This is an incrediably difficult time for you. I've never been 100% in your shoes as i've never had to make that decision but I have had my horse taken from me suddenly. It felt like a sucker punch. But be as strong as you want to be, or cry if you want to, do whatever you do to greive her. I still am upset about my monster. But he left this earth because he had taught me everything he could teach me. From being a first time horse owner, to losing my first horse and everything in between. He knew his job was done here and that i was a better horse woman because of it. He also knew that there was an OTTB out there that needed me more.
But I just wanted you know that I'm thinking of you all the way in the frozen tundra that is north dakota...

STB Eventer said...

I found your blog through Andrea when she posted on Eventing-A-Gogo. I am so sorry about your mare. You have done everything right for Denali and you have given her a wonderful life. I am thinking of you....even though I was not one of your regular readers, I did enjoy going through your old posts.

Here are a few quotes for you:

Some horses come into our lives and quickly go while others come, stay awhile, leave hoof prints in our hearts and we are never, ever the same.

Somewhere …
Somewhere in times own space
There must be some sweet pasture place
Where creeks sing on and tall trees grow
Some paradise where horses go,
For by the love that guides my pen
I know great horses live again.
~~Stanley Harrison

Marissa said...

I've only been following your blog for a few months, but I agree with what others said that I feel like I know you and your mare and I'm very thankful that you shared your beautiful story with us. It's funny, I do consider those who read my blog and those whose blogs I read to be "friends" even though I've never met them. Our relationship with our horses is so personal that it must create a sense of closeness even when we live on opposite sides of the country. I'm glad that hearing your readers' words of support is giving you some comfort in this extremely difficult time. We mean it from the bottom of our hearts.

SolitaireMare said...

Be strong. I understand EVERY emotion you are feeling. I have not been reading the blogs as much as I used to after the recent loss of both my horses. For some reason, I took a moment today to catch up and read about Denali. I care about anyone having to face this hard and painful decision.

Denali is blessed to have you protecting her. That protection means we do all we can to keep our horses safe and healthy and sometimes part of that protection means you have to be the one to see her safely into the arms of the angels.

My heart is with you. And know Denali has my Monty and Rugby waiting to run free with her.

Lesley said...

Hugs to you in this really shitty time in your life. I lost my dad to suicide in April of this year, so here I am, 7 months after, and I PROMISE you this storm cloud WILL clear out someday. Allow yourself to grieve, to fall apart, and to just be miserable for awhile. Promise us all that you will save some of your love, your heart, and dedication to being a phenominal horse woman for one of the thousands of equines out there that would just thrive on a fraction of the love that you gave Denali.... We are all here for you, listening, crying, waiting for news......

Frizzle said...

Thank YOU!! Thank you for being such a good horse mom, being so willing to learn, and always doing the best thing for your four-legged child. Thank you for sharing her with us in such an honest and up-front way. Thank you for saving Denali from the cruel, terrifying, and painfull death that she surely would have endured if you had not bought her at that auction. You have given her a taste of what awaits her on the other side. Mostly, thank you for making the hardest, most gut-wrenching decision there is, and giving her the peaceful passing that she deserves. THAT, my friend, is love.
We horse people need to stick together, even if it's just over the internet. I really don't think anyone else can understand what we go through.

achieve1dream said...

I can't hardly see through the tears. Your post was beautiful. I hardly feel like it applies to me because I've only been following for a couple of days, but I did go back and read your blog. I'm reading backward and I've made it to your Be Brave post. You have been through so much with your beautiful mare. I'm so sorry she has to leave you so soon because she is just so special. We're here for you. *hugs*

Jen said...

We're always here for you whenever you need us. I'm very grateful that you got this extra time with Denali. I didn't have time to say good-bye to my 2-yo and 3-yo when they passed. Just remember all the good times that you've had with her and the pain will pass, but I know that you'll never forget her.

Take care