Thursday, March 22, 2012

Anyone Out There?

I actually don't know if anyone reads this anymore since the star of the show is more of a dim glow. I've been in a weird place for the past few weeks with a few different things in my life. The last time I rode the big guy was the last time I blogged about it. Last Thursday I had a meeting that went late, and Saturday I came down with a killer cold and spent all of Sunday in bed. A whole bunch of other crap has happened, but it's not exciting so we'll skip it.

Today was lesson day and to say I was a nervous wreck was the understatement of the year. Not that I want anyone to know how I feel, because it sucks, but today was really hard. I wish I could just "forget" about the past and move on. When I got to the barn I was a little early, and I didn't want to get on him BEFORE my lesson started.

Mr. Man was asleep when I went to get him. I took his blanket off and he is in full shedding mode. After last week I didn't want to try to put him in the cross ties. I went to his stall and groomed him while he ate hay. We were both happy. Once I go out of his stall with him I realized how "up" he was. It was a sunny day, and I don't know the last time he was rode, or turned out. Note: His "up" and Denali's up are totally different. He was just looking around and walking fast.

For some reason I decided that today would be a good day to freak out. I think that not riding for two weeks, and the last time sort of freaking me out didn't help. Even though I got there early we ended up being late for our lesson. The trainer sent me down to the outdoor arena and said she'd met me down there. I have never ridden (other than the barn mascot pony rides my friends give me) in the outdoor arena. Before I got on him I had a small meltdown and almost turned around and gave up. He was being fine, just looking around and I was just looking for an excuse to give up.

Eventually I found my big girl pants and started to warm up. Once I got on him I felt totally fine (almost.) It's SOOOOO nice to ride such a safe/sane horse. He is such a good boy. Our lesson went really well, I got some nice complements on my transitions and their improvement. At one point she told me "We're keeping things simple, don't do anything fancy?" I was confused, but it turns out when I stop worrying I can remember how to do lateral work. I laughed. Wasn't trying to be fancy, just moving him to the wall so we could make a wider turn.

After a bit my trainer asked me to canter him. I told her no and kept working. Luckily she doesnt' take no for an answer. His canter is AMAZING. It was like a rocking horse. At one point he spooked at a bird and it was the funniest thing that has happened this week. I started to laugh and couldn't stop. He sort of moved sideways while he went into the canter.

Overall, great lesson. Great boy. Amazing trainer.

Sorry it's so crappily written.... I am trying to get everything organized, but I wanted to write this down before I forgot. What's this weekend? Saturday is Denali day! I can't find anyone to go with me, but I am still planning on making the trek myself.

15 comments:

Snowhawk Przhevalsky said...

I still read~

I think grooming (him or Ms. D or another horse) could be really good for you to help get over your fears. I've seen it mentioned by at least one blogger I follow (though my brain refuses to tell me who, I just remember the blogger is female, the blog page is white and it's a fairly simple layout), as well as having seen how grooming an animal can be calming and help someone get over say, a fear of dogs. Or specifically terriers.

I used to be terrified of terriers. (Yes, "terror" is in their name!) My leg was torn up by one when I was a kid. But now I'm a dog groomer and some of my favorite grooms are on terriers, and some of my favorite clients have been terriers.

It's a lot to work through, but I think this big guy will help you quite a bit. :3

Travel Truth 101 said...

I still read it too!

Love hearing about other people's experiences, and how they're progressing. I have recently changed trainers after losing my nerve watching someone else have an accident, and am feeling much more confident now.

I don't have my own horse (we move around the world every few years, it's just not possible) so am riding my trainers horses and am now cantering on the lunge with no reins and no stirrups! Can't flipping believe it myself, but my balance is getting better and I'm a happy bunny.

Keep on writing, we are out here ...

http://traveltruth101.blogspot.de/

appydoesdressage said...

No worries, I still read as soon as you put something up. I think you should be able to see the stats of your site somewhere in your admin stuff. You can also add a tracker like Feedjit to see if anyone comes around.
I agree with Snowhawk that grooming will help, one day just groom until you aren't nervous anymore. Even if it takes 5 hours. Or 10. Unfortunately I can't relate as I don't have that kind of terror problem but I can't imagine it hurting. Good luck!

Kelly said...

You still have readers! I agree that spending time grooming the big guy, taking him for short hand walks, just hanging out with him will help get you comfortable again. Glad to hear the lesson was a success and good for your trainer for getting you to canter. Sounds like it was fun :)

WishIHadAHorsey said...

I still read!

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Of course I still read!! :)

Dom said...

Still reading... I comment less since the WV changed and got annoying. Haha. Glad you had a good lesson.

Mona Sterling said...

Still reading. And agree with other commenters that as much time at the barn as you can get. I'm working through some pretty hardcore anxiety with my horse and my trainer told me to just make sure to come out as often as possible, even if it was just to groom. It has helped and I really notice a difference when I haven't been out to the barn for a week....
So glad you have a nice schoolmaster to work with!

Ms Martyr said...

Don't tell Denali but I enjoy reading about your experiences with the big guy.
I try to help out at the barn and spent five hours there yesterday grooming various horses, putting some out, bringing some in, getting ready for the farrier, etc. I think time spent around horses, not necessarily riding, will help calm your anxiety. They are individuals, just like people.

Horsez-R-Us said...

Not only do I still read, I have all your posts sent to my e mail so i don't miss one!

YAY!!! X1000 I am so happy for you!!! He sounds like the perfect match for you, not being a complete dead head but being stable enough for you to feel confident. You are improving imensly and you sound so happy :)

Gurrl said...

I don't know how religous you are, but when I was recovering from a bad fall and still hadn't found my big girl pants, I prayed to St. Martin De Tours (patron saint of horses and equestrians) for a miracle. And that day I found my big girl pants.

I also read still. I love seeing how your life is going and how Lady Denali is.

SprinklerBandit said...

So glad you stuck it out. We have a lot of common ground. I still get nervous thinking about jumping, but once I'm on Cuna, pointed at a fence, things just fall into place. I nominate your lease horse for Cuna and Tucker's 'Sainted Gelding Club'.

These big guys are amazing at letting us freak out and just doing their jobs.

PS Tell D hi for me. I'd totally come with you, but I'm sort of stuck in a different state.

Andrea said...

I read too!

Anonymous said...

I'm reading!

achieve1dream said...

Yes I'm still reading I'm just WAY behind. :( I'm trying to get caught up but I just never can manage to get ahead. I'm glad you had a great lesson. Just keep reminding yourself that your fear is nothing to be upset over. It's completely natural. Just accept it and keep going like you did for this lesson. Each time it will get easier and easier I promise. :D