Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Riding Horse or Pet

Today was one of those days.

From the moment my alarm went off I just had a feeling that today was going to be one of those days. I even laid in bed thinking to myself, "oh, here we go."

My morning at home did not go well, so I left my house in a foul mood. I got to work and my kiddos were just totally wild. I spent my day e-mailing a parent trying to make him understand why their child was not included in the general education classes.

I couldn't make anyone happy.

I spent the day writing an IEP (Individual Education Plan) that no matter how I wrote it, didn't make the family happy. Sigh. I sent the PLOP (Present Levels of Performance) to the parents for them to review via e-mail at least 6 times, this in between teaching a classroom full of 10 wild students.

One of my students, a little girl, informed someone today, "I'm not a girl, I'm a hoe."


I started feeling sick at 3:00.

After work we had a faculty lasted for 2 hours.

Then I worked on the IEP some more, and finally left work around 6pm still feeling like crap.

Went grocery shopping since we're apparently out of food.

I was beyond tired, stressed, and exhausted.

Got home and started cleaning my house. Did some laundry. I still felt like crap.

Called Denali's trainer to discuss "What I want for her."

She was busy, and I should have known better than to try to discuss Denali with her. Especially since I'm already in a really crappy, foul mood. I haven't talked to her since Monday night, after the lesson Denali's lessor had with the Dutch guy. She was trying to talk to me, and I'm not sure what she was trying to say. What I got was that Denali is a smart, beautiful horse that many people would love to have, and maybe it would be better that way. I could be wrong, I'm probably wrong, but I'll worry about it until tomorrow. She asked me if I wanted a riding horse or a pet. Dumb question. If I wanted a pet I would have rescued a pasture pet. Believe me, she costs enough, I'm going to ride her. Who knows. I do agree, I need to have a plan of what I want to do with Denali.

Nothing makes me want to do something more than, than to be told that I can't.

I'm in a really craptastic mood. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed. I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to have a meeting at 7am. Tomorrow is going to be an extra long day too.

I want to take my horse and move to a deserted tropical island. I'm sure Denali would like to eat pineapples. We could swim in the ocean. She'd like that, I know it!


Jay Jennings said...

Sorry you had a bad day; it happens to all of us.

Maybe it's time to move on to a new trainer. It sounds as if your not to happy with your current one.

Anonymous said...

Days like this happen - but take some time to think and regroup - perhaps things will become a bit clearer.

Rachel said...

I had a horrible day yesterday. I don't follow astrology but I hear Mercury is in "Retrograde" and it supposedly puts everyone in a funk... sheesh, awesome.

Beth said...

Oh thank you for reminding my why
I am not teaching in the public schools right now. IEP are great in theory but when you have to spend all your time writing them instead of teaching the kids they are written about, it does make for a frustrating situation. And then on top of all that the kids are not ready learn because of personal issues and home life. ***HUG***

As to the other part I have been going through this for for over a year. Do I keep Abby, who I love but is probably too much horse for me or sell her. I tried to solve the problem by getting Kinsey. I took the advice of someone and got her now she is turning out to not any better than Abby. So basically I am no help but to offer more ***hugs***.

Polka Dot Ponies said...

Sorry you had a bad day! I would wait a day or two and then go back and talk to you trainer again. Ask what she ment by that. Maybe she did mean it the way you understood or maybe she ment something else?

Drillrider said...

I don't envy any teacher this day and age. There are so many regulations, tests, standards and measures in place that actually teaching seems secondary. Also, I have GREAT respect for people who choose to homeschool and wish that I would have had that discipline for my own children. They both did not do well in public schools.

As for Denali......I don't know how long you've had your current trainer, but trying another one is an option.

There does come a point though when you do have to consider the horse is too much for you, but you will know if/when that time comes. I've had to do it and it is heartbreaking at the time, but in retrospect, was the right thing for both me and the horse.

Denali's Mom said...

No, I agree PDP, I'm sure she meant something else. I'm not too concerened. If she starts pressing me to sell her I'll go to a different trainer. What I'd like to do is to send her to get a solid 60 days of training. I know that she needs consistant work, and I'm ready to start doing that again. From the ground up of course!

Laura Maynard said...

Sorry for the rough day. Sometimes the funk seems never ending and sometimes it's a one day thing... hope it's short-lived for you! I can totally understand frustrations with the horses though. For the first year I had my horse I was frustrated and easily got angry with her stupid little antics like spooking at EVERYTHING, always rushing, and never getting tired. Can't tell you how many times I just plain wanted to get rid of her. Fortunately I toughed it out and she's turned into a wonderful partner who just might have a forever home afterall, even though she was bought to resell. With some horses it just takes what seems like forever for them to grow up (mine was about six when she mentally matured) and until then they do silly things that frustrate the heck out of us. Chin up and have some fun over the weekend :)

Frizzle said...

First off, ROFL at "PLOP." That totlly made me giggle, so thanks for that. :-)
Secondly, don't let anyone try and talk you into selling Denali. She's your horse, and if you wanted to just keep her as a pasture pet and groom her for the rest of her life, that's your perogative. Heck, it's a much better life than a LOT of OTTBs get! I know you'll ride her and be confident about it someday -- it's just going to take time.
Sorry you're having such a stressful day! I'm gonna be right there with ya next week -- I'm starting a new job. Eeeeeeek!

SprinklerBandit said...

You were stressed and god knows what your trainer was feeling like. Maybe she just snapped at you a little bit.

I'm sorry your day sucked and I don't envy you a minute of it.

HK said...

Have you considered taking lessons on another horse for a while - say a year - to get your confidence up? If you have a good, strong foundation you will be able to deal with her ups and downs (no pun intended). Just a thought.

eva e. hardy said...

Since you mentioned 60 days of training, have you considered sending her to a natural horsemanship trainer that specializes in OTTB and problem horses? I really don't know a whole lot about natural horsemanship, but I have heard some really great stories about this kind of training. My vet sent her OTTB for 60 days and he def had some issues and came back a dream. Maybe something worth looking into. I would reccomend at least considering it if you feel that you are at your wits end. I ended up in a similar situation and sold my horse and to this day regret that I didn't explore every avenue before I sold him, even if it would not have helped. Good luck and I hope it all works out!

Tammy in TX said...

I am so sorry. I am having one of those days today. But it isn't horse related. I am fixing to face the "empty nest" syndrome and it was my mother who pointed it out to me and that is why I am in my own "craptastic" mood. LOL

To let you know too, I changed my blog address to:

Hugs, I hope your weekend is good.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Blech. Unwanted opinions can suck it sometimes. She is your horse, you love her and provide great care for her. What you want to do with her, at what speed you feel comfortable at is your biz and no one should push any other ideas on to you.
I know where you are at...I've had people tell me w/ Laz that there were days they wished he did die so I could just get a nice horse and not an OTTB. I mean, really?! SUCK IT.