Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Purpose Statement

The purpose of this blog was to document my progress with Denali. Well, after two years not a lot of progress has been made.

Not going to lie, pretty frustrated with myself.

So, what now? I can either
A. Stop blogging about the same shit everyday....
B. Try to look at the little progress that we make as positive....
C. (enter choice for C here...I have no idea.)

Maybe I should make a blog "Sun n' Rain = Green, Green Grass." Not going to lie, my pasture looks pretty awesome! I just need to remember to take a picture!

Since April/May, what have I done? I have riding 3-4 days a week (minus the past few weeks, too busy with work) and have gotten over my fear of horses. Not going to lie, still get a little nervous when I get on a new horse, but I calm down pretty quickly. I am taking lessons with the trainer at my barn and with the trainer at the barn I work at. Ms. Slew? My heart drops to the floor and my pulse races. I think we need marriage counseling.

Why do I feel like I've not made as much progress? Still waiting to hear back from the Vet on her Reserpine/Ace thoughts? Which drug, oh which drug.... Ms. Slew needs to blow it out her butt, but she can't do that because she'll break. Sigh.

Blah. I'm in a shitty mood. As I write this one of the characters in my blogging life is moving barns (as in transit, or at least suppose to be.)Ophie and her mom are going to a dressage barn down south. Ophie is the only horse that Denali has ever liked and not tired to kill. Maybe she likes all Thoroughbred? I'll have to wait and see. I mapquested their new barn, 41 miles from my house, not exactly a drop in and visit barn, but then again I think I drive Ophie's mom nuts, so maybe that's good for her. ;0) Regardless, I will miss them.

I thought about moving barns a few times, and have made Pro and Con lists a ton of times. Long story short, I do like where we are, and the Pro list wins! Denali needs to be turned out for 8+ hours to be sane, not something I could find everywhere. We were at a barn where she didn't have much turn out: CRAZY MARE!!!

Yes, my trainer has frustrated me in the past, but I do really like her, the drive, the price, the people. Plus, if I can't vent here, where can I vent when she frustrates me? (Although, not going to lie, always nervous that she'll find this.)

A friend of mine told me that when I'm ready to move I'll know. I'm going to bet riding Denali will be a good step in deciding where I want to be. If we do move, it will be to Giant Warmblood Barn. I'm just excited that I've set up a weekly riding lesson at the Giant Warmblood Barn starting Thursday.

We've had a few people come look at our barn. I just want normal people with normal horses. I'm not going to lie, I'm the most anal person at our barn. I'll admit that. We were going to have another trainer come in, and she still might. I already told my trainer I don't want two cooks in the kitchen, and want her no where near my horse. I also told my trainer I pay her for her opinion, not for what she thinks other trainer's opinions should be. Things have gone well since that talk.

Is it October yet?? My life will be easier in October, oh so much easier! School schedule will be solidified, my pony should be allowed into a larger area (which means happier pony), I got a slight (very slight) raise, so I get to see how much that is a month (since we only get paid once a month.) I also took on two leadership roles at my school (those pay too,) I'm teaching after school classes (to put towards the saddle fund which I'm trying to start up again,) and my student teachers will have started. Oh so much easier in October (which is my favorite month!!) Can you tell I like to be busy?

I'm going to try to remember that I need to be grateful. Things I'm grateful for today: Pumpkin Spice Latte's, Apple Cider, and the smell of horses. What are you grateful for?

P.S. Pictures soon! I promise ;0)

Thanks for reading!


Carol said...

When you have an unsound horse you can't make training progress, but then you know that :)I bet your riding is improving, and you have a right to be proud of yourself for taking care of Denali. If it weren't interesting you wouldn't have so many followers! Better days are coming I bet.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...'s not easy rehabbing a horse. There is so much mental and physical crap that goes along with it. I dont find your blog boring for one dont stop. It's what makes it interesting...the ups/downs that we all face. Hang in there!!! Need I mention your slew of blue ribbons!! That nothing to shake at.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you're having a rough day (month? year?)!!! If it makes you feel any better I brought my mare home in June of 2006 and was not comfortable riding her until the spring of this year (2010). I had ridden her a bit around my yard and that was it. She bicked me off once and bucked under saddle twice after and I was scared to death of her. I tried lunging her to keep her fit but due to lack of know-how she became evasive and dangerous on the lunge line as well. I thought long and hard about what to do and it fnally came down to selling her, or getting her trained. I am so glad I opted for the latter because I wouldn't change our relationship now for the world.

Hang in there, things are getting better, and don't you dare stop blogging!!!

Denali's Mom said...

Thanks everyone!!!! I really appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is kind of tangential question and not really related to the main thrust of your post, but do you take lessons with several different trainers simultaneously (I mean, not at literally the same time, but within the same week, say), or did I misunderstand that? I was just curious because I'm starting to doubt my trainer a little and am considering either supplementing by lessons with someone else or moving altogether, and I just wanted to hear your impressions of how that's going (two different instructors at the same time).

Also, you have made improvements with Denali! As Carol said, she's been laid up, but you haven't let it stop you. You've done lots of ground work (which WILL help in the future when it comes to riding), developed a deeper bond with your horse (also crucial), and also, improved your own riding and abilities on horseback in a safer-feeling context. While I know it's been a blow to your bank account, it seems like this experience allowed you to deepen your bond with Denali while still improving your riding.

And don't stop blogging! You're lots of fun to read.

Becky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becky said...

It sounds like you're in a good place for now, but it sucks your pony friend is moving!! :( I notice a lot of people barn hop in an attempt to solve problems that barn hopping can't solve, though they believe it can. "My horse will be happier at this new barn because...." "I will ride out at this new barn because..." "Our training will progress faster at this new barn because..." And often times it has nothing to do with the physical surroundings, but people are trying desperately to pawn the problem off on something else. DEFINITELY not saying that is the case with you & Miss D, just a realization I've made lately with my own experiences. ALTHOUGH, in my barn hopping defense... my horse wasn't being fed! lol But I digress... you HAVE made progress! And even if you never make a step of progress with Miss D ever again (which would never happen!) keep blogging, because somehow, still I'm certain you would find a way to make even the most non-progressive non-progress entertaining. ;)

Miles On Miles said...'re riding! Even if it's not on your girl (which, actually, it IS now, yes?), you're improving and showing. That's doing more than a lot of people that blog about horses, including me:) You are an entertaining writer with a warm voice, and you obviously love your girl, which is why you have so many followers. I hope you stick around. What you might think of as boring probably isn't so much to those of us reading:)

Laura M. said...

Chin up there D's Mom... you're a really great Horsey Mama and if the blogging is a stress relief and a place to express frustrations, concerns, excitement or whatever then keep up the blogging! Believe it or not you probably have made a lot of progress with Denali. The riding you do on other horses teaches you more finesse and techniques that will definitely translate right on over to your rides on Denali.
Question: Would the trainer at Big Warmblood Barn be available to come to your farm to do a lesson with you and Denali? Even if it just for a 30 minute walk lesson there's a lot you can work on. Doing so might help you see if you have more confidence with Denali under one instructor or the other. Then when you feel Ms. D is ready to do more than rehab and eat grass you can think about the moving option again.

But what now? Option C: look at the lots of positive things in your horse life. Whether that's Ms. Morgan, the fun shows, the successes at Big Warmblood Barn, Denali's healing, Denali's good sense to stay in her paddock... even if she did go for the grass, at least she didn't escape anywhere else. And the most important thing (I think) the nickers that Denali gives you when she sees you... she really does love you!

Anonymous said...

Figure out what's working - however small those things may be - and work out from there - it'll keep your focus on the positive. Rehab is very hard and it's easy to get down.