Happy Halloween

The Vet didn't call me back yesterday with a deficient yes or no on the medication. I found it for so much cheaper online, but I need her to fill out he Rx for Denali. I'm ready to start treating her now, and I'm over myself. No I'm just anxious to get the medication because I don't want any serious side effects to start with Denali.

Please hurry vet!!

EMP and Denali

I have been doing a lot of "what ifs" today.

What if Denali didn't step on herself when Ophelia double barrel kicked her.
What if I had called a day earlier and had gotten her normal vet.
What if I would have said, "skip the blood test." (It was really expensive itself)
What if I would have let her trainer lunge her...
What if....

What if I lose Denali?

If Denali wouldn't have gotten kicked and then hurt herself than I wouldn't have called out the vet. If I would have let Denali's trainer lunge her than she would have been less lazy and her "issues" would have been less pronounced. If I would have said "no" to the blood test then we would go on assuming it was a different issue.

Regardless through a series of events I know what's wrong now. Something I would have never have thought of before.

So at first I was very upset, but the way my husband put it, "A few thousand dollars is a lot less money than the price of your counseling for the rest of your life."

Very True!

Based on her neurological problems, along with her high titer. The laboratory is spinning out her blood to see how high her titer is. The vet, based on Denali's numbers, suspects that Denali does indeed have the disease. There are two options from here. The vet said she can refer us to the Equine hospital where Denali would need to have a spinal tap to determine if she is does have the disease. The other option is to skip the spinal tap (which is around $500 dollars) and go directly to treating her. The treatment is around $1,000 dollars. The vet said she feels that there is only a 5% chance that Denali does not have EPM based on her high numbers. Sigh....

I did find the drug online for a lot less. It is being sold through an online pharmacy. I could save 500 dollars on the drug. The Vet quoted me $1000 for one month of treatment. The online pharmacy has the price set at $780.00 and most importantly they'll sell single tubes of the medication. The vet said if she needs two months that I would need to buy two groups of medication for $1000 each. If she only needs an extra week than I can buy a tube from the online pharmacy. Hopefully the vet will okay the Rx.

Positive

I'll write more later, but just wanted to let everyone know that Denali tested positive for EPM. Her counts were so high that the vet feels strongly that it is the disease and not an exposure. THIS FUCKING SUCKS! We could do a spinal tap to be 100% sure, but with the vet being 95% sure and her neuro problems (that i still don't see) I think we're going to treat it. Now where to come up with the $1,000 a month.

Wanted: 4 more hours in the day

I really wish I could have more time in the day. I essentially work 9-5 and that only counts the time I teach and have meetings right after work. That doesn't include the time it takes me to plan lessons for 8 little boys who are on all different levels. Sigh. That doesn't leave much time for me to ride Denali. This makes me really sad and I wish that the real world wouldn't get in the way so much! Other people do this and ride. I don't mean to complain! I just hate the fact that I need to drive 20 miles one way to get to Denali at night. In Seattle traffic that can take between 30 minutes or 2 hours. Ugh.

Anyway! I keep babbling on here, but have no pictures for a while so I thought I'd upload a few videos of Denali being "tortured" by me and my poor trainer. (Have I mentioned I love my trainer?) I still think she's lazy and not neurological. What do you think? I made a million videos and this is the first one I could get to load.




Neither video is of very good quality. I have a great one of her being ridden, but can I find it on my camera? no! Ugh.



Tomorrow I'm suppose to get the blood work back, I'm also going back to the barn for the first time in a week. Denali's doing really well in training and I got good reports from her three sessions this week. I am feeling better about her diagnosis, but am still hoping the vet is wrong. As soon as I get the blood work back then I'm calling another vet. What's the biggest vet bill you've ever had?

Nerves

I think I'm going to be sick.

Tomorrow I am flying back to Seattle from my cousin's wedding on the east coast. What ever happened to direct flights? It took me 12 hours! (Yes, you read that correctly) to get home on Friday and I leave again tomorrow to head back to my beautiful girl!! (Oh! And the husband!) BTW, have I mentioned on here that the husband has put off buying his new truck (his dream truck) until we know exactly what's going on with Denali. He wants to make sure we can treat her if that's possible! What a wonderful guy!! I love him so much, and although he's not into horses (his only fault) he still loves Denali.

Anyway, tomorrow the bloodwork should be back. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really hope it's negative because then that would just add fuel to my "there's really nothing wrong with her" fire. She's the horse love of my life. My husband asked me the other day if I loved Denali more than him. I love Denali different than him. He is the best thing to ever happen to me! I am so lucky to have found him. Still, I feel this weird connection to Denali that I've never felt with any other horse. So to answer your question honey (because I know you sneak a peak at this blog once in a while) I do love you more than Denali, but she loves me more than you :)

Rambling...sorry. Tomorrow is the flight back and also I need to have a meeting with my principal when I get back. One of my assistants and I got into it on Thursday before I left and I e-mailed her to vent and I guess she talked to him...long story short I'm a nervous wreck!! Ugh! What a week!!

Keep your hooves crossed for Denali!

Back in Training Day 1

Today was Denali's first day back in training since the accident in September and the Vet appointment on Saturday.

I love my pony. She is amazing. I feel like I'm floating on air when I ride her. She did a great job last night. She loves working, and she loves me.

I drove my trainer insane tonight making her help me perform Nero test on Denali. We still don't see "it" and I think that maybe she was just feeling lazy on Saturday. Horses can be lazy right? She definitely has an old dip in her hip once in a while and a hitch in her step once in a while, but not daily and not always. She's an OTTB, I'm wondering if these things are Nerological in order or lazy/sore/OTTB thing. Sigh.

Seriously. It is driving me INSANE!!!!!! Ugh.

Monday Blues.

Today was rough.

I DID NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK! That is how I feel every Monday, but especially today. Last night I proceeded to wash all my work clothes at the last minute. I was excited and pulled them out of the dryer and noticed that they had a few red splotches here and there. I looked closer and realized that I ruined my entire teaching wardrobe. All of it. I washed and dried my clothes with a red pen that exploded all over. I sat and cried and cried. My poor husband. I honestly don't know how he puts up with me.

Needless to say that after the vet appointment, and after the dryer incident I was not relaxed and ready to teach small children who bite me and call me names.

BUT I did have a super nice thing happen to me, which made going to work worthwhile. I got beautiful Gerber daisies and chocolate brought to me by a previous student's mom. She made me cry. I'm pretty sure I finished eating the chocolate before we even finished the chocolate.

Tomorrow's another day. I still spend every minute I have free thinking "what if" as it concerns Denali. I am going to continue training Denali to compete in Dressage. She loves to work and she gets very naughty when she just sits. She hates to be bored. If she does end up needing to retire at least she is happy now. I'm still praying (and have asked pretty much everyone I know to do the same) that Denali will be fine. I really don't see what the vet sees. I can't wait for the blood work so I know if I should get a second opinion or not.

Thanks for your support everyone!

Good Day

I had a good day with Denali.

I love Denali.

She saved me.

It scares me to think I won't be able to save her.

Went to the barn today armed with my list of Nero Tests they use to diagnose Wobbles. The poor thing, she put up with me moving her legs all over the place, sticking a pen on her, pulling her tail, etc. She passed everything with "flying colors." The only thing that she didn't do so well with was when I picked her tail up, she let me with little resistance. BUT NORMALLY she sucks it down harder than anything.

I'm so nervous and worried.

Tacked Denali up and took her in the arena. We did lots of lunging. Her hind end does look a little "funky" but I think I'm reading too hard into things. We also did work along the rail, but I didn't get on her. There were about 12 people there to just check out the barn, and I didn't want to embarrass myself. She got nice and sweaty which makes me happy. She is SO out of shape!

Her face is swollen on the right side. My trainer thinks it's from having her Nasolacrimal Canals (That's what my vet bill says) flushed. I hope so.

I love my pony.
I love her more than chocolate.
That says a lot!

Calming down

So I spent last night reading everything I could about Wobblers and EPM. I don't see Denali displaying any of the symptoms of Wobblers, but then again maybe she's just starting to display them. You'd think they'd start to show up before she was 5 and a 1/2. There are a bunch of tests that the Vet didn't do on Denali. She had me hold her head up, and back her, but that's it. She said it's "slight" and that it could stop here, or progress. She also said that some top Dressage horses have the same degree of nerological problems that Denali has, and that's why Denali has such nice floaty gaits. I wanted to tell her that Denali has such nice floaty gaits because we've worked for over a year to get her to pick up her feet.

I hate this. I start to think about all the things I noticed over the past three months and how they might be the disease starting to take over her body, then I remind myself to stay calm. That's easier said than done!

I've decided I'm going to wait for the blood tests to come back and then I'm going to call out the Equine Hospital in the area to come out and evaluate her to get a second opinion.

Another thing it could be is a Vitamin E deficiancy. I read that the same symptoms can show up on a horse that is lacking Vit. E in their diet.

No matter what happens Denali is still going to have the best life possible, it just makes me sad to think she might not live long enought to be buried in my future houses' back yard. Since I got her I dreamed of turning 50 with Denali by my side (oh! And my husband.)

Thanks for the support!

EPM or Wobblers

I think that I might die.



The Vet came out this morning to look at Denali's leg. I really thought that she would look at Denali and say yes, it's swollen but it will be fine.

Her leg is fine.... we did x-rays.

The vet was concerned about how she moved on the lunge line. She suspects that Denali is neurologic, and we also did blood tests to check for EPM. She did a bunch of nerological exams on her, and I kept hoping she'd changer her mind.

I don't know much about either disease. I know that you can treat EPM, it's expensive, but you can treat it. The vet told me that I should read about them both online, but to "not freak out." Easy for her to say.

Vet

The vet comes tomorrow at 9 am. It worries me when they feel they need to come out ASAP. I even suggested putting it off until next week (because I'm cheap.) She said no extra charge, but she is coming in the AM. Ugh.

Also. Does anyone play www.howrse.com? Let me know if you do!

Insurance & the Vet

So Denali still has a lump on her fetlock. It looks better, but it's not going away fast enough for me to feel good about putting her back into training. She's been sort of sitting since September 9th. I've ridden her a few times, but nothing fancy or difficult.

SO! The problem is that I have Denali insured. I didn't realize what a pain in the ass it is to go through to make a call to the vet. Even though I know that she won't be covered for the visit (at least I hope that she won't --only surgical) I STILL NEED TO CALL regardless. If the vet is coming, even if it's not a huge deal, then I need to call the insurance company. Boo.

What really irks me is that if she'd ever need put down I need to call first, then have her put down. I think that's a little crazy. I understand that people probably do horrible things to horses to make money, but wow. The lady on the phone (during my 25 minute conversation with her) told me that if I ever needed to put her down quickly, I need to call right after the vet does it. Yes, because I'm sure I'd be in the right frame of money to call. Ugh. Anyone else have their horse insured? Through who?

I hope I don't need to call the vet very often, especially since I'll need to do this song and dance every time.

OH! BTW! I got Denali the MOST AMAZING BLANKET EVER!! Wait until I post pictures!!

What do you do when the rider's the problem?

So yesterday was great! I went on a long trail ride with 5 other people from my barn. I borrowed one of my trainers horses, and had a blast! I was definitely had my nervous moments, especially when Teak (the horse) stopped to pee and everyone else walked ahead. When Teak stopped peeing, she couldn't see anyone and I tried everything to get her to go forward, I finally gave up (bad I know) and got off and leaded her to where she could see other horses. Other than that I had a great time.

Today, still high on confidence, I went to the barn. I don't know what my problem was, I was seriously convinced I was going to die. Denali had her head so high she looked like a giraffe. I get frustrated when she does it, then I get all flustered. She knows that when she does that, that I get flustered and then I do something stupid and she stops. My trainer made me trot her all over only worrying about steering. I need to get a better seat. Maybe a hypnotherapist? Ugh!

Wow!

Look what happens when I get busy! I come back to 15 followers. :)

Guess what we did this week? I went to the barn on Tuesday and took Denali out of the field and threw the saddle back up on her (the first time at the barn since August.) Tightened the girth (no freak out!) and took her into the arena with 4 other horses. I definitely said a prayer as I swung my leg over her. She's huge! I forget how big she is until I ride other horses. She was a peach. One of the boarders little brother was outside, and it was dark, so Denali definitely decided that he was going to kill her. She had 4 little spooks, but not bad, more like big bunny hops. I started singing a song to keep myself calm. I forget how it went, but it was ridiculous of course.

She was such a good girl with the other horses in the arena. She still pins her ears and looks like she's going to bite off one of their ears, but she doesn't.

On Wednesday just Ophelia's mom and I were at the barn. It was quiet and I love when it's quiet. There was a jumping lesson earlier and the cross poles (an X, it's been a while and I forget what it's really called) were still set up. We worked on transitions (and again I didn't die) and things went really well. I decided to take Denali over the X (very small X at that) and at first she went right through it and knocked everything down. I then had a flash back (15 years) and vaguely remembered how to jump. The next time we went over it, we actually jumped it. It was so much fun! She seemed so SO proud of herself. My trainer was so proud of her, it was very cute. There was Ophelia jumping and doing everything perfect, and Denali got all the attention because she jumped a 6" cross rail. I felt like we were "special." It was a great riding week!

On the classroom front, I was told by one of my six year olds, "Ms. F, when I love you, I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU! When I hate you, I really REALLY FUCKING HATE YOU." Sigh. My job his hilarious! I really think they need their own blog, but I'm sure someone would find it and find it offensive and try to sue me or something. I'll keep to writing about my EBD (Emotional/Behavioral Disabilities) horse rather than the EBD kids.

These boots are made for walking....

That's what I need. Aside from the next step of bubble wrapping Denali, I need to think of another option. Her right hind fetlock is still swollen. I need to call the insurance company on Monday, then call the vet. Stupid insurance will cancel if I don't contact them before I contact the vet. Our trainer thinks that it is because she hit herself with her other foot. I'm not so sure. I am wondering if boots would help. I don't know that much about boots on a horse. I know they serve different purposes. My thought is, she is clipping herself running outside, would I leave her boots on her? Are there good boots for this? She just has funky confirmation on the hind end. I don't know how to explain it... she's not cow hocked, she's not even bow legged (human term I know.) it just looks like she's about to clip herself every time she runs. Is this all horses? I guess I could get off my lazy butt and look for myself...

Idea on boots though?

If you need a laugh. This is an awesome blog! I just wish that Denali could be calm enough for me to make her look like a giant sheep, or a dragon. Some of these costumes you can't even tell that that there is a horse under there... http://halloweenhorse.blogspot.com/

In other Denali news, she's still playing pasture pet. Sigh. She's on bute and her fetlock keeps swelling up. It doesn't help that she keeps trying to kill other horses. Waiting until Monday then I'm going to call the vet (again.)

A little depressed that this is the first Sunday of the month. That's when the auction is at Enumclaw where I got Denali. The racing season is over at Emerald Downs. I read on another blog that 18 Thoroughbreds are going to head there. I really wish I could go there and give everyone who brings them in a piece of my mind.

Off to build fences at the rescue! More later!!! :)