Thursday, November 5, 2009

How long...

I wonder how long until I stop having mental melt downs. I went to the barn and got Denali tacked up for one of her training lessons. Took her to the arena and waited for our trainer. She was helping my friends BF tack up and I got bored so I grabbed his helmet and hoped up on Denali. I got her going long and low, then she spooked and that was the end of me. I stayed on for a little bit, but then hoped off Denali once I got her going the way she should go.

Why am I such a huge fucking chicken.

I really piss myself off. More then usual. If I could just get over my confidence issues, and my fears I think I could really ride. BUT of course I always freak out and end up frustrated and angry. I don't now what my problem is. UGH. I thought about taking a lesson on a different horse, at a different barn, with a different trainer to see if I could work through my issues elsewhere. Maybe I need to get drunk before I ride.

1 comment:

SprinklerBandit said...

Haha, maybe. Then again, if you were drunk, you'd probably just fall off, nice and easy.

Realistically though, you haven't really been riding for the past two months because of Denali's injury. That doesn't help you feel secure when you start getting back on.

Remember that you did stay on and Denali did come back to you. This shows that even after the spook, you were able to master yourself enough to calm her done. Well done. That is a hard thing to do. I'd say you're on the right track.

One thing that I found to help was taking fairly intense lessons in which I didn't have time to focus on the spook and my girl didn't either. However, if you don't like that teaching style, this idea is more likely to upset you.

Good luck.