I think my horse knows that I have a hard time making decisions, so she makes them for me. Friday she made the decision that we're going to stay where we are for now. I went out with one of my best friends from high school who flew in to visit me. Denali was still in her stall, and was next up on the list for her body work appointment. I went in and cleaned off her legs as best as I could, and Denali being visited by my friends. All was right in the world. Then she noticed that other horses were getting as much attention as she was. Not okay with her and she started to be naughty. Not horrible, but moving around the stall. Not the end of the world. I still am having issues with being in a small enclosed place with her. We're both clausterphoic, so we're not a good pair. I got really nervous and walked out of her stall. I'm anxious, she's anxious (you see the horrible pattern right?)
I went to see when Denali was going to be worked and went back to her stall to get her. I opened her stall door and the silly girl reared up on me. It scared the shit out of me and I slammed the door. (Flash backs to post Denmark/November almost dying.) It wasn't to "get me" but more-so, "I'm so done with this stall, I wantz out." I started to get upset and went to tell the girl who was going to work her that she was in her stall and I just couldn't do it. I was so upset with myself. It's hard to convince yourself that you won't die. I decided to put my big girl pants on and try to do it again. No problems. I think Denali knew. I put her halter on her, and she stood perfectly still until I was out of the stall and then asked her to follow me. She was a peach. Poor thing. It's not her, it's me. I do know that I'm not ready to take her to a new environment. I need to feel confident handling her all the time before we can do that. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...she freaks once and it terrifies me to no end. I know she'll be a freak when I take her to a new barn (because she always is) so I still need to feel better.
When we went to do her body work she was a bit of a pill. We trotted her out a few times and she started out looking really well (because she was totally wild and was doing big huge trots, big huge, beautiful floating trots....drool) but when asked to slow it down she was obviously still really lame but no where as bad as last week. We have a vet appointment on Thursday (changed from Monday, more on why tomorrow) so I'm going to ask about an x-ray to make sure the splint bone isn't broken. She's going to think I'm a nutcase!
The vet and I talked today. I love her. She loves my horse, all is right in the world. She reiterated that I don't need to work at the barn and she doesn't mind. I just feel so guilty that I would feel better if I would be able to work for her and also keep Denali there (at least for the summer.) I wouldn't have my own "shift" but I would go out and help whoever is already working (since they get paid and I'm just a "volunteer.") I think it's a good thing for us, for now.
Oh, I found out she's only drinking a little bit of water at night. There's no way to judge how much she drinks during the day. Do you use electrolytes? She only drank about half a bucket at night time (10 hours in stall) and the care taker said she always does that. She use to drink more water than that at our old barn. Suggestions? She might be gulping a ton during the day, and her grain is really a grass mash with 6 cups water at night and morning. Just something else for me to be neurotic over.What would I do if she was perfectly healthy, sound, and sane? (What would she do if I was perfectly healthy, sound, and sane?)