I think my horse knows that I have a hard time making decisions, so she makes them for me. Friday she made the decision that we're going to stay where we are for now. I went out with one of my best friends from high school who flew in to visit me. Denali was still in her stall, and was next up on the list for her body work appointment. I went in and cleaned off her legs as best as I could, and Denali being visited by my friends. All was right in the world. Then she noticed that other horses were getting as much attention as she was. Not okay with her and she started to be naughty. Not horrible, but moving around the stall. Not the end of the world. I still am having issues with being in a small enclosed place with her. We're both clausterphoic, so we're not a good pair. I got really nervous and walked out of her stall. I'm anxious, she's anxious (you see the horrible pattern right?)
I went to see when Denali was going to be worked and went back to her stall to get her. I opened her stall door and the silly girl reared up on me. It scared the shit out of me and I slammed the door. (Flash backs to post Denmark/November almost dying.) It wasn't to "get me" but more-so, "I'm so done with this stall, I wantz out." I started to get upset and went to tell the girl who was going to work her that she was in her stall and I just couldn't do it. I was so upset with myself. It's hard to convince yourself that you won't die. I decided to put my big girl pants on and try to do it again. No problems. I think Denali knew. I put her halter on her, and she stood perfectly still until I was out of the stall and then asked her to follow me. She was a peach. Poor thing. It's not her, it's me. I do know that I'm not ready to take her to a new environment. I need to feel confident handling her all the time before we can do that. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...she freaks once and it terrifies me to no end. I know she'll be a freak when I take her to a new barn (because she always is) so I still need to feel better.
When we went to do her body work she was a bit of a pill. We trotted her out a few times and she started out looking really well (because she was totally wild and was doing big huge trots, big huge, beautiful floating trots....drool) but when asked to slow it down she was obviously still really lame but no where as bad as last week. We have a vet appointment on Thursday (changed from Monday, more on why tomorrow) so I'm going to ask about an x-ray to make sure the splint bone isn't broken. She's going to think I'm a nutcase!
The vet and I talked today. I love her. She loves my horse, all is right in the world. She reiterated that I don't need to work at the barn and she doesn't mind. I just feel so guilty that I would feel better if I would be able to work for her and also keep Denali there (at least for the summer.) I wouldn't have my own "shift" but I would go out and help whoever is already working (since they get paid and I'm just a "volunteer.") I think it's a good thing for us, for now.
Oh, I found out she's only drinking a little bit of water at night. There's no way to judge how much she drinks during the day. Do you use electrolytes? She only drank about half a bucket at night time (10 hours in stall) and the care taker said she always does that. She use to drink more water than that at our old barn. Suggestions? She might be gulping a ton during the day, and her grain is really a grass mash with 6 cups water at night and morning. Just something else for me to be neurotic over.What would I do if she was perfectly healthy, sound, and sane? (What would she do if I was perfectly healthy, sound, and sane?)
6 comments:
Gogo is a mega mega mega drinker (she has a 100 gallon trough in her field that she finishes easily in half a week), but when she was at the main farm over here, both her grain and hay were soaked. She drank like, half a bucket a day in addition to this. That's it. Scared me to DEATH. As soon as we took away the wet food, she started slurping water again. The other horses at the main farm also drink like this - the best drinker drinks about one whole bucket a day, and the others don't hardly touch their inside water at all. Sometimes they drink outside, a little.
I think you're accurate in your self assessment: YOU need to be confident before you try to move her. The telling thing to me is that you seem to expect her to be bad. I've found that anxiety like that tends to bring about a self-fulfilling prophesy. My mentors always tell me to expect the best, but prepare for the worst. It's not an easy thing to do and not have your horse pick up on the vibes.
You will get there with her. She's in a good place now with people who care a lot about her. Don't rush it for now, don't feel guilty... she's where she needs to be. The water isn't something I think I'd worried about. When I refill waters at my barn few horses drink more than half their water - I mean there's one or two that drink like crazy but the rest drink maybe 1/4 to 1/2 so it sounds pretty normal to me. Electrolytes won't hurt though, especially during the summer. Plus they're probably wayyy less expensive than anything else she's on! lol
It's not so much that I expect her to be bad, but she can be a HUGE pill whenever anything changes. I know this, and I know that it will probably freak me out. You know, you get trampled one time...
It's hard to expect the best. We have rotten luck.
You'll get there!!! At least you went back and tried again!!
If the vet isn't worried about her water intake, I don't think you should worry either!! Sometimes I get stressed about other stuff and kind of cast it off onto something could be wrong with Sugar...she's a tough little cookie and has yet to have something truly wrong with her (knock on wood). Just a thought!!
Yeah I don't think I would worry about the water. If she's getting soaked feed she won't need as much. Also if she's on grass it has a high water content so she won't need as much.
The vet sounds so great! I don't think I would feel guilty about the discount, but heck I'd want to volunteer just to learn more and be around more horses lol. It sounds like such fun!
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