Today was the first day that I got Denali from her stall that she was worked up. Who could blame her! We had blue bird skies today, warm weather, and not a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day! I didn't use the stud chain on her today because she's been so good. I opened her stall and got her halter on her. She was super hyper. Literally bouncing around, and making the funniest noise ever! She's not allowed to squeal, so I think that her little low pitch squeal was her attempt at expressing herself without getting into trouble. She bounced over to the little turn out area and didn't care as much about the grass as she had.
OMB (Ophie's Mom's Boyfriend) and I stood there and watched her. Then she tried to run. We both yelled, "NO" in unison and she stopped. Not saying she listened to us, but more likely she realized there was delicious grass to start consuming. I watched her for a little bit to make sure she wasn't going to be going crazy, and she didn't.
I rode my trainers horse today.It's been a while since my last time on a horse. I'm having a lesson tomorrow. I could tell how much I need to do in order to be able to ride. I have no muscles in my back, and very little everywhere else.
I keep going back and forth on if I should find Denali another home (my trainer had nothing to do with my thought process.) A home with someone who could use her to her full potential, but then I think that COULD be me. I also think, who in the heck would want a TB who cost it's previous owner THOUSANDS of dollars.
I wish that I had a straight answer. I stood in the field today with dead dandelions making wishes. "If I should keep Denali, I'll be able to blow off all the little wands." Well, then one or two would be left on the flower and I didn't like that answer. I think that what I need is to work with her everyday in order to figure out if we're going to work or not. Part of me doesn't (for a million obvious reasons) to get rid of her. I want her to grow old with me, but then the other part of me wonders if she'll ever calm down enough for me to feel comfortable to ride her. I think we both need work, and I shouldn't just do something on a whim. That's how I got her to begin with. When I ride Denali I get off feeling better than I feel after riding any horse. I think that's because she's mine. I don't know. I'm rambling... I love her. I don't feel the way I feel about Denali about any other horse. I think it would be easier if she showed affection to me.
This will be a much easier decision to make once I'm in shape. Much, much easier. I guess I get frustrated going to the barn and riding another horse. I want to ride my horse!!
I start my 5:50 am pilates class this week!! Ugh. It will be worth it right!?
8 comments:
Heart vs. Head. vs. Horse...you'll figure out what is right for you two, just give it some more time :)
Trust me I feel your pain and understand your dilemma. I have Kinsey and Abby. I am lucky enough that I have not bonded with Kinsey that strongly yet. I have her with a trainer right now to be evaluated to see if she will ever be what I need. Abby is another matter. I have bonded with her and I adore her, but I don't think I will ever be able to ride her again. I have hope that maybe I can drive her, but that leaves me without a horse to ride. Still part of me says I should sell her too.
I read a post recently on a bb. It was advice on choosing a horse and one person said to get a horse that you can ride now. That is just so right on. There is so much heart ache other wise.
I actually do like Kinsey. She is a sweetheart of a horse, but I have to find her a good home if I can not ride her. What really helped me come to that conclusion was taking lessons on a horse that I do feel comfortable with. I love to ride that horse. I am not fearful. Although my greatest wish is that my trainer will say, "you can get on Kinsey, she is a perfect for you." I am prepared for him to say, "nope, she just is not going to be a good match for you."
Only time will tell huh?
http://www.fearlingriding.blogspot.com
There are no wrong answers to these questions. Take your time and listen to your gut. You'll know what's right for you.
Oh, I hate those thoughts. I have had them too..they enter on days when the ponies are crazy. When they are good, I don't have those thoughts. I think it's totally normal. If you like the challenge of learning, then Denali is it. She will teach you a lot. A lot about riding, handling, care, etc. If you like the idea of being able to go to the barn and hop on a steady easy going pony, she probably isn't going to be that, either, ever, or for a long time. That is something I'm faced with too. It's not easy...
If you are not ready to make that decision, then just DON'T. Wait until you are sure or you will have regrets.
I’m going to be unpopular here… I’m just being honest.
If you do sell D; what chances of a good life do you think she has?
She’s injured, she doesn’t have much training and she has epm. Best-case scenario is she gets picked up as a brood mare. Being injured and her need of training; she’s not going to fetch more than $1500. People looking for a low priced horse in this economy are most likely going to be beginners, and probably not the best choice in the long run.
You read fugly and have been to the auctions, you more than anyone should know the fate of most TB’s these days.
If you’re really at this stage and ready to give up on her you should really consider calling SAFE or any of these other TB rescues in the area. They probably would have advice on get her to a place where she can be retrained and re-homed.
If you’re not ready to give up on her yet, you might consider calling a TB rescue and talk to them about trainers. You might even reach out too fugly and see whom she recommends in the area.
No offence; I know your friends with your trainer and all… but how long has it been and your still having issues and not progressing? Maybe it’s time to switch trainers and try someone new? And again please don’t take offence at this because I know you and your trainer are friends… but she’s not that good of a rider. I over heard some of what she was telling you at the show, and it’s wasn’t good (or even accurate) advice.
I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be so cynical or a downer. I’m just pointing out what you maybe missing. Trust me I have been there; crazy horses, bad trainers, LODS of money flushed down the toilet. And I too am stuck with horses that will never be able to be placed in a normal home. And I too have my dilemmas with riding with instructors who are too much like friends and not being able to move on in fear of hurting there feelings… been there done that.
No I agree Jay, I don't want to sell her. I am just getting really frustarted with horseownership at the moment.
September she hurt her left hind, no riding, October diagnosed with EPM, no riding, November trainer got hurt, I didn't ride because she hadn't been ridden in 2 months and I didn't want to be the first one back in the saddle of a green horse. December I got hurt, January she got a lessor, February I got hurt, March I didn't do much at all with her due to fear. Had lessons in April, less afraid and more confident, and now, May, she got hurt. It's been a year of cycles, over and over again! It's frustrating and annoying, but it's the world of owning a horse.
The thing is she's not a "hot" horse and she's pretty quiet on the ground. Like all TB's she requires lots of consistency, but even without it she does a good job.
I don't think I can sell her (emotionally or in reality.) Who wants a broken down horse!? I do!
Kristen, I read your blog and think about you all the time I think we are one in the same!
You will be fine. You both will. I am in a very similar situation with Cheyenne... first time horse owner, & guaranteed more "green" in the horse world than you my friend! Cheyenne was nearly completely unhandled when I adopted her, could barely be touched, couldn't be haltered. It seems I'm constantly asking myself "WHAT did I get into!?" But something always happens that helps me to see that light at the end of the tunnel. It's a rewarding relationship because there's always something new to accomplish, I'm always seeing some sort of progress. Think how boring it'd be to have a deadhead horse who always did exactly what you asked! =P I've always loved a challenge. But Cheyenne is part of the family now, as Denali is for you. I know MANY horse people view it differently, but to me they're no different than children. You wouldn't sell your kid & get a new one when they're not working out the way you planned. :) You love her... you can get through this. You WILL.
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