Warning: Personal Crap.
I've had a hard week. By Tuesday night I was so stressed with my own personal demons that I wasn't really sure if I could see the tunnel that is the weekend. Stupidly I cried myself to sleep. I have stupid reasons. One is work. I've been at this job since September, but the time is different (it starts two hours later than my last job, and as a result I get out two hours later.) This stresses me out. I don't feel like I accomplish anything, I don't feel like I have any time to do anything. All stupid I know, but it doesn't make me feel better. I know that it sounds just so stupid, but I get really stressed then I get anxious. I HATE anxiety. It's the devil.
Anyway, I got out of work tonight around 6:30. We had a meeting, and I left my classroom looking like a small bomb had gone off, or a war had taken place. It's bad. It's really bad. That stresses me out. I have two assistants. One helps me pick up the mess at the end of the day, the other one, I'm pretty sure, could really care less about the classroom. He doesn't help clean up anything unless I directly ask him to help me.
I ran out to the barn to see my Rx. Ms. Denali. I was stressed out about not getting out there. Stressed out that I can't ride. Stressed out about everything. Seriously, it's amazing what a horse can do. I called her name and she came galloping up to the fence. We shared an apple and I smelled her breath. It's so sweet, and I can't get enough of her smell.
I can be so stressed out, anxious, and a nervous wreck and just a few minutes the the pony makes me feel like a normal human being again. It's so nice. Now if I can get get the anxiety in check when I attempt to ride her I'm sure I'd be good.