Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tired Tuesday

Today was hard. This has been a very hard week on me emotionally, I'll save the sad stuff for last. I've been at work the past two days. I didn't take off. The black n' blue marks are slowly showing up. My whole lower back, and up my right side. Beautiful. I use to be proud of my marks when I played Rugby, because I earned them by being tough. I did not earn these ones by being tough. I earned them by not being a good rider. Not real proud of myself. Maybe I should change my blog title to "Amazing super rider" and then that would come true.

My kiddos have been totally off. It's a full moon and every single time there has been a full moon the kiddo are always off. I want to do a scientific study on it someday. They wore me out. They understood the concept that I didn't feel well. They did not understand the concept of don't grab me. They're still cute.

One thing I did do today was join giddyupflix.com. It's kind of like Netflix, but for horse films. I'm not a very good reader, I can't focus for more than 2 seconds on an article, but I think I can learn a lot from watching some films. Obviously I won't be able to learn everything I need to learn from the TV, but it's a start. I put a few in my Que about building relationships with your horse. I know that I need to do more of that. I thought we had a good relationship on the ground, but I think I'm wrong. Anyone have some trainers that they particularly like? If you know the site do you have any suggestions that I should add?

I haven't been back to the barn. I got back on Denali right after it happened but I've been too tired to make it back out there since Sunday. Maybe tomorrow night. We'll see. I feel stupid, I feel defeated, and I hurt. I even discussed the "S" word with my husband, he told me to wait, he knows that I love her and I think she likes me. If I sell her I'd regret it. We'll see. Rome wasn't built in a day right? I'm going to try to do more with her before I make a decision like that. I wish I would have bought a totally finished horse to teach me everything, before I bought an OTTB with no training. I'm sure I'll learn something sometime, but right now it's not feeling like that.

Now for the sad news. I've mentioned before that I teach 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders with Emotional/Behavioral Disabilities. This morning I found out that one of my little guy's mom's passed away on Monday night. She was sick in the hospital, but I didn't think this would happen. To add to this, he doesn't know yet. They aren't telling him until some family can come to town. He'll be in school until he knows. It was hard to watch him today, knowing that his life will never be the same. He only has mom. No one else. His dad is out on a felony warrant for kidnapping him. So in addition to that sorrow, we are on high alert for his dad. Apparently he knows what's going on and the family is afraid he'll come grab the kid again.

8 comments:

オテモヤン said...

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Kate said...

I don't think you're a bad rider - falling off happens to everyone. Just rest up and feel better. Very sad news about your student's mom.

Laura Maynard said...

Falling hard and getting pretty banged up in the process is always depressing, especially when we feel like we can blame poor riding. You were brave to hop on her for a few minutes and that's what you should remember. Chin up! It will get better! Jingles for your student, I hope he's surrounded by love and caring when he grieves.

Karla said...

Hang in there girl. You're not a bad rider, you're a brave one for climbing back on! Have you thought of working on one rein stops with D? I did after Honey threw me (landing me in the ER getting CT scans for hours and sending me home with a concussion). It really helped me build back my confidence- just knowing that I had that extra bit of control up my sleeve was huge. And after having used it-sucessfully- I can easily say that I will be checking (and installing if need be) the E-break on every horse I ride from here on out. Here is a good article on it (and lots more training articles too: http://www.naturalhorsesupply.com/onereinstop.shtml.

Love the video idea- please let us know what you think of the videos you watch!

My heart breaks for the child in your class. I can't even begin to imagine.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Oh I'm so sorry for that poor child. That is just so unfair! You must be a very good teacher. :)

KatieI said...

Gosh I know how you feel. I had a horrible time last night when I rode Savy. I left the barn thinking the same thing "I wish I had a horse that was already finished. I am not a good enough rider to do this." It was a really bad night.

This morning I was looking through some pictures and remembering how far he had come in one year. Think about how far you have come with Denali! She does love you, she didn't dump you on purpose. I think we all have those bad days. I definitely know that our situations are not ideal...but I really think that we can become better riders because of them. And you have a horse that you have a connection with, even if it's not perfect.

Sometimes I look at my relationship with my horses and I think it's kind of like a marriage. You don't always get along or agree...but you can't imagine your life without that person.

I definitely think it's ok to be frustrated and take a break, just make sure you do go see her again - even if it's just to love on her and groom her and give her treats. It will make you both feel better.

CJW said...

Sorry you got tossed! Hope you feel better soon.

I went through the whole mounting block/moving thing with my mares. My sister's horse Mocha was the worst horse to mount and to get to stand. She'd actually take off cantering at times no matter what you did. It was awful.

What worked best is to put the saddle on like normal, bridle, and lunge line.

You're right that you want them to move, but not you.

So, if she moves when you try to get her close to the block, immediately throw the end of the line at her hinney and make her move-make her do a brisk trot around you for a bit.
Then, try again. Ask her to whoa at the block. She moves, you make her move more. Lunge her around you again.

Eventually she will stand when you ask.
Then, get on the block and see what happens. If she moves when you try to mount, push her out, step down, and lunge her around you.

It may take a few sessions. When she finally does stand, mount her a few times, pat her, then be done and put her away.

Good luck! Maybe doing some groundwork with her will help your confidence.

SprinklerBandit said...

Excellent advice here. We all have bad days and yours just seem to be strung together lately. It has to get better, doesn't it?