Tuesday, November 16, 2010

dear mare,

i love you more than you will ever know. you saved me. you are my best friend and i love you. i wish you were able to use words to tell me how you are feeling. my gut says you are sick. i don't know if i am making any decisions correct. am i making you suffer waiting for a miracle? am i being unfair to you? are you okay? you seemed so small tonight and weak.
your daddy and i love you and will keep fighting for you, but if you are done fighting please, give us a sign.

love always and forever,
mom and dad

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know it's so terribly difficult to hold off on worrying, but try to wait for the official diagnosis. I'm not saying not to brace yourself for the potential bad news or live in a fantasy of pure hope, but don't flinch before the punches are even thrown. I know that's really tough advice, and I'm sure your gut is telling you all kinds of things, but who knows what the prognosis is, and both you and Denali are fighters. I feel so bad reading about your worrying and suffering, and I really do feel for you and can hardly imagine all the pain and worrying you're going through, but letting your mind lead you to despair before you have all the facts won't help either you or Denali. Hang in there! Sending good wishes your way!

Amanda said...

=( this seriously just made me cry =(

Prayers, hugs, and love coming to you.

Snowhawk Przhevalsky said...

*just sends hugs*

thenamesmarry said...

You know, I think horses save us far more often than we save them. They teach us so much about ourselves that we would never realize without them. Follow your heart and know that you have really stepped up to the situation in front of you and gone far above and beyond for the well-being of Denali. I'm sure all of us here see it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. I have some inkling of how it feels to be there - I really doubted myself when I found out Sunny was 25 and dying - but know that the growth you and Denali have experienced, and the bond you have will be there forever. Best wishes to both of you.

Carol said...

Wow, I hadn't read your blog in a while and just read the last few. I feel so bad for you. Although I don't even know you, my heart breaks for you. You've sure had a bad run of luck. Know that you've done light years more than many (most) people would for your horse and follow your instincts.
I hope things turn around for you.

Minus Pride said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Denali :( I hope things turn around and she can come back from it. Good luck in making all the right choices, and don't ever second guess yourself later.
Just remember when you look back on things, the circumstances are totally different and hindsight is 20/20 so just go with what you are feeling.

Ashley said...

oh girl you are making me cry!

Muddy K said...

She will give you a sign. She will find a way to tell you. You have to trust that she will do that. Your bond is that deep. Who else can she turn to but you? No one. Those of us who know how to listen unselfishly will always hear our animals speaking when they need us to know. You'll hear her; you always have. I'm just hoping for the best for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Reading about your life on the blog have made us all love you too Denali.

Net said...

My heart breaks for you having to go through this. Just know you are doing your best and trying your best to figure out what is in her best interest, and so you should never regret any choices you make.

My gut says the retirement idea should work for her, but then I have a crippled horse I refer to as my three-legged horse because one of her legs simply doesn't work right, so I believe they can do amazing amounts when we think they will give up.

{hugs} and best wishes to you.

Andrea said...

:( Hang in there guys. She will give you a sign if she's ready. *HUGS*

WishIHadAHorsey said...

I can only say I am so sorry things are still going this way. May your love for Denali guide you in your decisions, you have been her angel and best friend. Hug, hug, and more hugs.

Kelly said...

I don't comment much, (at all?) but I'm a loyal reader of your adventures with Miss. D.

You are doing the very best that you can, with Denali's best interest in mind.

That is all that any animal, horse, dog, cat, whatever can want from an owner. To be loved, and cared for to the best of our ability. You have done SO much for your girl, she knows it. As crazy, wild, and sometimes dangerous as she can act, she loves you!!

Try and take a step back, I know how hard it can be. Try not to dwell on the 'what if's'. Take it all in, but only one day at a time. Listen to Denali. Listen to the advice your vet may give. Listen to your heart. But most of all, remember you are doing the best you can. I know it never seems to be 'enough'. Nothing can ever be enough when it comes to the animals we love. You and Denali have a special bond, and have been though a lot. You ARE doing enough, because enough, in my mind, is described as the very best you can do.

Dee said...

can I suggest you give her and you a couple of days before making any decisions - she's just travelled to somewhere different and may be feeling a little unsettles, and you are obviously under a huge amount os stress.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

There are signs...but you have to make choices for her when she's ready and for when you are ready. You will feel it...if you want to keep fighting and think she can too, then you will. I wish I could hug you....I know how crazy this time is. Whatever happens..you have already saved her from a life she wouldn't have had if not with you. xoxo