Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Maybe it's the drugs?

I just got off the phone with the vet.

Denali is stable, but is not improving. We are going to do neck x-rays, blood work, and then we will make decisions.

Best case scenario, it is a bout of EPM. Worse case it's Wobblers. I explained to the vet that I am very concerned that it has been so acute. She was doing well in September with trotting with only a few trips and now it's continual falling.

It's not good.

We talked about options. Denali's injuries make it difficult. The vet talked about surgery for Denail, and we both agreed that with everything else going on with her, that would be unfair to her. With the injuries to the hind legs, and EPM she would have a difficult time healing properly.

So, what next.

We are going to do neck x-rays and hope that there is nothing there. With the acuteness of the disability we both wonder if she could have fallen and broken her neck.

We talked about options.

I don't want her to stand in a stall bubble wrapped for 6 months, in hopes that she won't hurt herself. That's not fair to her. I love her more than anything, I hope you understand that. I want Denali to be a horse, to be able to be out on a pasture and have a good life until it's her time to go.

I explained that I can't put her down when she's happy. The vet totally agreed with me. I am going to look for retirement board for her where she can be a horse until things go south. This is all of course if things look bad, but I can't keep pretending that it will all be okay.

I can still hope that they can figure it out.

I thought I'd be writing this bawling. I'm not. I still can't cry or have any emotional reaction. It hurts to bad to cry. Thanks for all your kind comments yesterday. Sorry it took me a while to moderate them. I have been sleeping, A LOT!


Anonymous said...

You're one strong woman! Best of luck to you and Denali I hope you both are doing much better soon.

Ashley said...

Yes, you can definitely keep hope. You don't know what is causing this so it would be silly to lose hope. You have come a long way so don't stop now.

I am sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could take it all away from you.

Frizzle said...

Holy cannoli!! I just caught up on your last few posts and...pardon mt French, but Jesus titty f@cking Christ!!
Geez, I am now convinced that you and Denali have some kind of curse placed on you. We have lots of Santeria down here in Miami; do ya want me to go see if they can do an "exorcism" for you guys?! (No animal sacrifies, of course!)
All kidding aside, please know that we're all rooting for you and your girl. For now, take your drugs, take it easy, and get some REST! Fingers and toes crossed for you and Denali.

Nicku said...

I've been there where I thought "wow I should be hysterical still" but there just wasnt one more tear I could shed in that moment. It's a perplexing place. Girl, I am so sorry to hear all of this. Praying for your healing and Denali's as well.

Mare said...

Hang in there! You're going through a rough patch right now, but there's always a rainbow after the storm...! Prayers for you AND Denali!

Gingham said...

One of the lady's at our place just found a rad small retirement barn for her wobbler (and she just got a 2 year old named Denaleigh..) I'll get the contact info.. its Redmond/Woodinville, but the board was really cheap and had full care (just no arena to ride in).
I'm crossing my fingers you don't have to go there! (but its basically horsey heaven if you do) :)

Dom said...

I've been following from afar and this is such a rough break. My thoughts are with you and your girl.

Denali's Mom said...

Nicku, that is exactly where I am. Maybe this is the way it was suppose to happen so I wouldn't be so devistated. Who knows. I'm still holding out hope, but with the luck we have I need to be realistic. I do know that I currently am out of tears.

Gingham, that sounds perfect. I would love the info.

Mrs Mom said...

Rest all you can, while you can.

Will just keep on praying for both you guys, and waiting right here along with you. Hang in there, and know there are a lot of people out here pulling for you and Denali, and we all understand how hard it is on you right now.

Snowhawk Przhevalsky said...

Fingers crossed, and hoping and praying for you.

Miles On Miles said...

Oh Brooke, I'm so, so sorry. This breaks my heart for both of you.

I know you will do what's right, and listen to Denali if and when she tells you she's ready. I hope that doesn't happen, her neck is ok, and she can live the rest of her days on some lush pasture somewhere. Hugs to both of you...thanks for keeping us updated.

in2paints said...

I hope things start looking up for you and Denali soon. You've been through so much, I think it's time for some GOOD luck. Try to stay positive until you know for sure.

When are they going to do the x-rays?

Karen said...

Sending more hugs and jingles your way. My heart breaks for you. :-( I'm hoping for the best outcome for your mare. But I have no doubt that no matter what happens, you will do right by her.

Jet Parrett said...

Brooke....I just caught up on everything and my heart is breaking in a gazillion little pieces for you & Denali. We all hope we never have to deal with these things but I can't even imagine compounding the trouble with pain and injury of your own. You have the shoulders and prayers of lots of people. I wish all horses had angels like you to care for them. I'm sure you feel the same about her.

Blessing to you both

Anonymous said...

Don't get too far ahead of what you know and what's happening - just take one thing at a time as it comes up - that way you don't have to worry so much about the "what ifs". You're doing everything you can for her right now, and that's your job and you're doing it well.

Sending good thoughts to both of you.

Sydney_bitless said...

Stay strong. I hope all goes well and you find a fix quickly.

Valentino said...

Keeping fingers crossed for you and Denali.

Alanna said...

I'm sorry! How sad.