Sunday, November 28, 2010

Exhaustion

I'm sick. I called to complain to my mom and she said she was surprised I lasted this long due to stress. I don't do well with stress. I get sick to my stomach, I get headaches, I get quiet...this time I got a cold. Boo. I know I shouldn't bitch about a stupid cold, but I did.

My husband and I woke up and went to church this morning. The church didn't even burn down when I walked in the door, so I saw that as a good sign. I figured I needed to go pay a visit to the big guy to thank him personally. Be it God, or some other divine intervention, there is no reason that Denali should still be here, but she is. She was so week last Sunday it was depressing. Her legs wobbled, her ribs showed (more than normal) and less than a week later she was so much better.

I went to lunch with some friends who wanted to meet my mare. One of them is from Portland and sent me a really nice message about how sorry she was that Denali was put down. Yep, another interesting conversation. We went out to the vet's barn, and Denali was HILARIOUS. She came trotting up to the wall of the arena and then proceeded to nicker, nicker, nicker. She followed me all over. There is a port-o-potty opposite where my friend and I were standing, I walked over and Denali followed me the whole way. Once inside she couldn't figure out where I went, and started running around. No falling. None. She does snap, crackle, and pop much worse than I remember. I wonder if it has to do with the cold, and the fact that she hasn't been out of the stall/small paddock for 8 months. My friend even noticed. That made me nervous.

There is a little cute QH there who has a broken neck :( Denali could see her from the arena and she kept perking her ears at her and nickering this low, low, nicker as if to say, "Hey, you okay?" I feel so bad for this little mare, she looks miserable.

I tucked a thank you note into Denali's medical chart for the Vet. I am still just in awe of how generous she is of her time. We just started seeing her November 6th, and she is already doing so much for us.

On my way home from working at the Giant Warmblood Barn I stopped at Denali's barn (old barn??) to explain the great opportunity that we were given. I feel bad. I picked up the rest of her stuff because I don't expect our trainer to hold a stall for her. I don't know how long we'll be at the vet's barn, and I want to be fair to her. Horses + Change terrifies me. I don't know what I'm going to do once we leave the vet's barn (optimistic here!!) Denali isn't an easy horse to board. She high maintenance, I'm high maintenance. It's bad combination. I'm still going to cross my fingers that she is still able to be ridden. If she's not, boarding will be easier, but I'd rather have a horse I can ride. At least I have a horse, hu?

I know I'm jumping the gun here, and probably thinking too far down the road. At this point I'm going to STILL try still take it day by day, but that is just exhausting me.

Also, keep your eyes peeled for a guest blogger this week: Ophie's Mom. You may remember her from the super awesome 101 Things to Do With Your Stall Bound Horse.

Also!I thought that you'd like this. I suggested Denali's name when I didn't think I'd have her anymore. They picked it! Another Denali, and I hope this one finds an owner to love her as much as I love my Denali.

8 comments:

Frizzle said...

Go take some zinc for your cold, and, heck, a few other vitamins probably wouldn't hurt, either. :-) You've been stressed, to say the least, so I'm sure your body is pretty depleted and running on empty.
And then you should self-medicate with chocolate and alchohol, as needed (or chocolate and pain pills, if you have any left). I'm sure your body and mind are totally fried from the last few weeks, so don't forget to take care of yourself!
As for the barn situation -- I'm sure that will work itself out somehow. You've got plenty of time.

anita said...

When I got my horse he cracked and popped. It went away when we frd him feed with quite a bit of oils in it. Don't know if this would be applicable or not. Anyway just so happy for you abouthow things turned around. Couldn't even read yor blog on Friday, when I finally read it I just cried with relief and surprise.

achieve1dream said...

I wouldn't worry about the barn situation right now. She's in a great place for the time being and that's all that matters. No sense in worrying about things down the road (I sooo do that so I can say this lol).

Sorry you got sick. Stress is evil. I also don't cope with it well and it does all sorts of things to me physically. It's awful but I just don't know how to relax, meditate, calm down, etc. I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad Denali was a silly show off for your friends. :D

Nicku said...

Ran across this verse tonight and it made me think of what you've said about how miraculous these last few days with Denali have been, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)...So happy to read these posts about the sweet, unexpected extra time you've been given with your girl. Praying for continued healing for both of you.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Try not to worry about the uncontrollable. (impossible I know b/c I do the same)
The barn situation will work out once Denali is in a better place. The pops/snaps will go away in time. She is probably so happy to move around. Perhaps she was getting depressed? I'm still praying daily for you and hope this proves to be a recovery for her! Every day is such a blessing. THANK god for snow!!!!!!!!!

Karla said...

I've been trying to post to your comments all weekend but my dang phone is being a pain.

ANYWAY I can't say how happy I am that Denali is still with "us". I know I have nothing but love and respect for you and Denali and what you both are going through. I'm so sory to hear you're sick, it's amazing just how connected our mental state is to our physical. As Frizzle said, don't forget to take care of yourself too!

I'm sure your boarding situation will all work out for the best. I know it's far from you, but if you ever need retirement board Denali can come live with (or in the pasture next to) Honey in San Diego. Board is only $100 a month plus feed and the care is great.

But like you said, it's still day by day, but I'm an eternal optomist.

Continued healing prayers to you and Miss D.

Dream Valley Ranch said...

I love the visual of her nickering ad running around wondering where you disappeared to :) good girl Denali!! Keep on feeling better!

And we are also hoping that YOU feel better soon, too...having a cold while dealing with all of this is a huge bummer!

Sendin good thoughts all around!
Sue and the crew at DVR

Snowhawk Przhevalsky said...

I realized something today, as I went to put my computer bag back into my car. The brand name on my camera's bag is "Denali."

:3 Thought it was neat.

And I am SO SO glad she's still around!