Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

(picture from last summer, if I remember correctly she was lame, and I was sad, so this picture works)

Waking up today was hard. It was hard to get out of bed. Getting out of bed meant that it was indeed a new day and one day closer.I had a horrible, horrible dream last night. I am sure that bad dreams are normal, it was so obviously not real, but I couldn't help myself. My brother (who keep in mind is a pharmacist) was putting her down, but only gave her ACE, Denali woke up and got scared and ran away and then we couldn't find her. Someone did find her and put her down before I got there. I hate bad dreams. It's hard to believe that it's tomorrow (well, if the weather holds out) and if it can't be tomorrow, I just don't know.
My heart hurts, it actually aches which I didn't realize was even possible. Even with the approaching loss of Denali I am still thankful. I have to be.
  • I am thankful for the 2 years, 4 months, 2 weeks and 5 days I have had Denali in my life.
  • I am thankful for all that she has taught me and the love she showed me.
  • I am thankful that on that July day 2 years ago, I was at that auction, bought that pretty bay filly and gave her the life she might not have had.
  • I am thankful for my husband and the joy he brings to my life, even in my darkest days.
  • I am thankful for my family and their health and compassion.
  • I am thankful for the roof over my head, and that even in this economy I have a job (although there are the days I just want to walk away.)
  • I am thankful for my readers and the help you have given me through this journey.
Happy Thanksgiving


16 comments:

Andrea said...

We're here for you if you need us... hug that sweet mare. And Happy Thansgiving <3

Kate said...

I had my wonderful Promise mare for only a little over a year, so I know exactly what you mean. Sending good wishes.

Ashley said...

Give Denali a kiss for me. I am thankful for you...and how much you have taught us over your journey. You are a great woman!

Wolfie said...

My heart is breaking for you.

achieve1dream said...

Your ability to see the positives even in such a rotten situation is truly inspiring to someone like me who focuses on the negatives even in the best of times. Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you can find some enjoyment in the day. *hugs*

Sydney_bitless said...

Give her a kiss and a hug from me please.
Stay strong.

Karen said...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. *hugs*

Rachel said...

I'll be keeping you, your husband, and Denali in my prayers... thousands of miles away, I feel your sadness and it hurts so much. God bless you. You were the best horse mommy Denali could have asked for. She was truly a lucky horse. She will always watch over you and protect you, and I hope that someday you can feel her peace. Take care, much love.

Anonymous said...

A song that really helped me through a hard death recently was, "Victim - Avenged Sevenfold" it literally will sum up every feeling you have. Even if you don't listen to it the lyrics will help


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UvyvpmMDHg

Anonymous said...

Actually I believe the song "so far away" fits better.

"I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong enough to despise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are tied."

Miles On Miles said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and Denali. I, and so, so many people, will be thinking of you both tomorrow, and sending you peace and strength.

WishIHadAHorsey said...

Thank you for being you. Ashley is right, you have taught us over your journey. More hugs ~

OTTB-Little Big Red said...

You are stronger than you can imagine!

Tapestry Institute said...

Many hugs to you and a shoulder of support as you take this journey with Denali. Sometimes, the greatest act of love we can perform is letting them go. It still stinks, and it hurts, and we all cry to the world that we have to do it. But we are also so very lucky to be able to have these magnificent animals in our lives for any amount of time. **hugs**

Slbaldwin said...

My heart aches for you Ma'am. I have yet to know what putting down a horse that I love feels like, but we are contemplating putting down one of our alpacas very soon, so I have felt a degree of your sadness. I hope your healing is fast for you and that you find peace within yourself and hope that you always know your doing the best for Denali.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Please hug and kiss Denali for me...stay strong as you are.