It is with a heavy heart that I write this.
After much debate, and "what ifs," we have decided to let Denali go.
We sat down with the vet last night for and talked about options for a long time. It is the most heartbreaking thing I have have had to do. She isn't going to get better, and I finally understand that.
It is not fair to her to bubblewrap her, and put her in a stall for the rest of her life because her suspensory failed her, and the EPM took her ability to balance. The vet said there is a very slight chance that after treating her for EPM, and 6-12 months of stall rest that she could be turned out again, but that her hind legs fail her again. If it was just one thing wrong, and not 3, we would have had a better chance. This is the second vet to tell me this.
We don't have a date scheduled, but before December. This is when I wished that I owned property so she could have a proper burial, but no, I need to scheduled the truck to come pick her up, and I think that is what breaks my heart the most. She deserves better than a truck.
She is my baby, and I love her more than anything. I just can't keep her in a stall to keep her safe, when even that might not help her. That is no life for her, and it becomes about me, and not about her. She deserves better than that.
For now I am going to continue to spoil her, groom her, soak in her smell, and love on her. We're going to let her be a horse, with the understanding that it may need to happen sooner rather than later if she gets hurt and we are not there.
She deserves so much more than I was ever able to give her and that breaks my heart.
Hug your horse today.